Gee's Wonders: Vol. One

I couldn't pass this one up as an entry, and methinks it appropriate to kick off 2007. You'll notice the title, and I hope there are plenty more of the like this year as opposed to the aforementioned "blunders". This occurred New Year's Eve at the tail-end of the night.

It's roughly 2am following an enjoyable, virtually event-free New Year's party (more to come on this night) at the home of Mrs. URLB and Gee is scrounging for something to really give it to and ring in the new year in style. After an intense and thoughtful search, he begins to notice that most of the qualified dames are already accounted for and lip-locked on the couch of said apartment. Phooey, but don't fret just yet, for he's the gee, you bet, and his plan hath been set to make a decision he won't soon regret.

He chooses a sure thing as his prey, which was a move of total laziness on his part. He had options that would have required some work or travel, but I can't blame him for his choice. Who wants to put in work on New Year's Eve? A man of his stature shouldn't have to, hence he took the ball on the fast-break and went up for the easy lay-up. She's a nice girl...uh oh, the old 'nice girl' remark. Well, she is and that's about all I'll say about it. She's been known to throw on a little Wilson Phillips in the wee hours of the morning and do a little solo twirly-whirly. Fucking weird. Alright, enough of that.

As the story goes, they arrive back at her place. I'll quote the man himself for the end of this tale.

"So we get into her apartment and she immediately goes into her roommate's room to wake her up or whatever. Weird, but hey. Anyway, she comes out of there and heads for the bathroom. I listened closely for the door to close and once I make sure that's done, I take a quick look around, ensure there's no way this girl can get ahold of me by phone when she realizes I'm gone, and I fucking run out the door."

Fucking awesome. I don't know if he was too baked for his own good or if he just wanted to do a good deed and give a girl a ride home, but this is beyond explanation. In my estimation, it's like when an alcohlic has a moment of clarity and suddenly realizes what he has to do. The Gee had a brief moment where he thought to himself, "what the fuck am I doing here?" and felt it best to just flee the scene. Chances are he'll see her again, but my guess is that she'll probably avoid conversation with him.