Cozy, One-Family Tree with a View. Cheap!

I was further researching the state of the Cambodian centaur lady this morning when I happened upon another interesting article of non-traditional dwellings. Check this out: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6275623.stm

Here's a story about a man from a rural area of India who left home after constant fighting with his wife. When men leave their families in this country, they probably go to a hotel for the time being and maybe return home after some time or just move into an apartment if there's no hope of moving back into his original home. Our Indian friend here chose a different path, however. He moved into a tree.

You can see a picture of this man if you click on the link above, as he sits in his apparent treehouse, looking ever so neighborly. I just wonder what may have been going through this guy's head when he chose this new abode. Granted, things are much different over there in India and maybe his options were limited. But when you're first instinct is to live in a tree, there have got to be some alarming reasons behind your decision.

Maybe this guy is a raging pedophile. Besides living in an ice cream truck, where else would you be able to better attract young kids than a fucking treehouse? Can I tell you how badly I wanted a treehouse when I was a pre-pubescent boy? Nothing else mattered to me. And think about how cool it would be if you were foraging for berries with your pal in the Indian forest and you saw this dope treehouse above you. There's no way you're turning down an invitiation. Chances are, he wouldn't even have to kidnap you or tie you up or anything. He knows you're coming back there every day. It's a fucking treehouse.

Our friend here reports that he had to move to the edge of the forest upon first moving into the community because he feared that elephants and/or monkeys wouldn't take too well to his arrival and ultimate existence. Analogy: the elephants are like the elderly couple who hate it when younger people move into their neighborhood and they constantly complain about the noise and partying. The monkeys, on the other hand, are like the family you just don't want to live next to, no matter what. They're dirty, never mow the lawn, there's a couch on the edge of their driveway, a huge compost pile in the backyard that smells of vomit and feces and they're always yelling, no matter what. Not to mention, the whole neighborhood can hear them when they have sex. Naturally, our friend here had to move to the outskirts of the neighborhood/forest to get away from this shit. I'm guessing the elephants would try to shake him out of his tree and the monkeys would just be a damn nuisance, constantly coming over to his treehouse and crapping all over the place. I'd imagine there would be a good amount of banana peels left behind, too.

I don't know if I could make it in a tree. Our friend talked about a cyclone that came through the area at one point and he said that falling trees came within inches of killing him and wrecking his fort. Imagine how pissed you'd be if took all this time to craft this nasty treehouse and then a fucking cyclone barrels through and in about two seconds, it's gone. And you were just about to put in that trap door for intruders that doubled as an escape route to an adjoining zipwire. Balls. Can you even begin to imagine the sheer terror you'd experience if you were looking a cyclone in the eye, with nothing but a bunch of sticks and leaves between it and you? That's certain self-defecation.

This I can promise you: If I ever decide to leave the confines of Humboldt or any home for that matter, I'm going straight to the harbor in Marblehead and finding a boat to live on until the owner comes out to use it. I'm willing to bet you he wouldnt do anything to you...and he might even be happy that you've been taking care of things in his absence. Who knows, maybe he even lets you stay there. Regardless, if this ever happens, my door is always open. Actually, my deck. My deck is always open.