02 January 2007

Good Heavens, '07! Burt Blyleven, Lucky Number Slevin, got UPN at Eleven.



Line of the weekend, courtesy of Brent Musberger during the Rose Bowl:


"I've gotta say something here folks, receivers should act like LT and not like TO. And I mean it."


Whoa, okay, okay Brent. They're all real sorry and will be sure to stop taunting and acting like jackasses when they make a play. How long has he been broadcasting? Granted, I was yelling at the TV every time Dwayne Jarrett touched the ball and taunted Barringer from Michigan. Yes, I'm a Michigan fan and yes, I was sickened by the aerial attack USC offered up last night. But Jarrett is an ass. I can't say what kind of shit Barringer was talking to him, so maybe his finger-pointing and ball-offering were justified. But you're the second-best receiver in the country. You should expect to beat every corner that covers and simply talk with your play. Act like Calvin Johnson, the best receiver in the country, who also happens to mimic LT in his humbleness. He's fun to watch and easy to like. You, Mr. Jarrett, are fun to watch but easier to hate and wish career-ending injury upon.


I also have a bowl-week confession to make: Boise State is legit and I bet against them thinking they were going to get smoked against OK. They might be the funnest team to watch in college football, in a long time. Who runs the hook and ladder AND the statue of liberty in the same game? Let alone the same drive? To TIE, then WIN the game in OT? Just awesome. I also think Korey Hall could be the best LB n the country and Ian Johnson might be one of the top 3 RB's in the country. Hey, I watched them a few times this year but against WAC opponents. And I'm of the persuasion that in order to prove anything, you need to compete with Big 10, Big 12 or SEC teams. Not only did they compete, they had a big lead, lost that lead, regained their composure without panicking and came back to win. In overtime. On a statue of liberty play. Happy Fucking New Year, Broncos. Welcome to the BCS. My guess on their preseason ranking for 2007: ahead of OK and ND. God yeah. I'm thinking #9 in the country.


Something else from last night's slate of games: I hate Pete Carroll with an angry and aggressive passion. Niot just because he did a horrible job coaching in the NFL with the Pats. Moreso because he looks like a jackass on the sidelines with his antics of jumping up and down and pumping his fist when his team has a 3 possession lead in the 4th quarter and he's piling up the score. I don't respect that. I also don't respect that his players aren't humble at all. Leinart wasn't, Jarrett, as mentioned, certainly is not. Booty appears to be somewhat collected but give him a year. The reason why Carroll can't coach in the NFL is because he's a pussy that doesn't/can't stand up to his players, nor can he demand their respect. In the pros, that formula doesn't work. I'd love to see Jarrett end up under Belichick at some point.


You know, this gives me an idea here. I'm going to lay out my top 5 most hated athletes of all time right now. I'd love to see some opinions of others on their top 5. Or top 3, 2, 1, what-have-you.


5. Terrell Owens. He should be exiled to NFL Europe and forced to play with Danny Kanell as his QB for the rest of his career. I hope 2007 brings a career-ending injury to you, too.


4. Marty McSorley. I don't respect anyone that takes cheap shots at defenseless people, but his actions on the ice against Donald Brashear were the worst I've ever seen in any sport. And to top it off, he did it in a Bruin uniform. What an embarrassment.


3. Joakim Noah. I just think he's a piece of shit overall. I hate his stupid yell/chest pound thing he does. I was really hoping that Greg Oden would shut his ass up. You have three first names in your name (kind of, by pronounciation). Joe, Kim and Noah. That's a tough draw for you, pal. You should go by Kim.


2. Karl Malone. This stems from early childhood and I'm not sure why completely. But I've always hated him and his stupid nickname. The Mailman? Much less cool that Legend, or His Airness. And I hated that he mouthed some shit before taking foul shots. Along this line, I fucking HATE how J Kidd blows a kiss before taking a free throw. He's not on this list, but he's #6.


1. Jorge Posada. As a rabid Sox fan this should come as no surprise to anyone that knows me. For a non-Sox fan, what really did it for me with him was his fist pump from second base during Game 7, 2003 after a hit off of Petey. Plus he looks like a weasel and he's a fucking BITCH. Kudos to Nate and Cree for their 'Posada Is A Little Bitch" t-shirts.

5 comments:

Jum said...

for my top 5 hated athletes (and a few more) see the hating hall of fame in the may archives. too strung out from vegas to say more. what day is it?

Anonymous said...

The bastard that ended Cam Neely's career, he's my number 1. I also hate Dan Marino with a passion. I think he's a total pussy and nothing makes me happier to know that he never won the big one. He and Peyton can rot in no-championship hell.

-Gil

Charles said...

jim, all you need to know is that it's a day or two after getting back from Vegas. the rest is insignificant.

gil, agreed on marino. although i always felt bad that he had an sutistic kid that looks just like him, therefore suggesting that he too is autistic. now he's a spokesman for a wait-loss scheme. hilarious.

shit, I left someone off my list but it's only because he's too new to pro sports to be recognized as 'hated'. but eli...eli, eli, eli. i fucking hate you. you're a huge bitch and i hate you. you pussy. fuck you.

richlevine said...

Unfortunately, Boise State failed to successfully run the Annexation of Puerto Rico. Vin Baker and Reggie Jefferson are both on my most hated list. Warren Sapp is also somehwere near the top. I also always hated Ivan Lendl with a somewhat unexplainable passion. Actually, the more I think about it, my vote for least likable professional athhlete of all time goes to Henry Rowengartner. propa

Studio 76 said...

"Someone call the national guard, because we are killing the patriots"...yeah i goto say Shannon Sharpe is my number one most hated athlete.

-DKJ