Sandwiched between a documentary about the death of an American Journalist and Friday Night Lights, I took in a portion of Sportscenter last night and I was lucky enough to see a candid interview with Tony Romo as conducted by Ed Werder. I can safely say that my hatred for this man Romo has ceased and promptly upon my arrival to my computer this morning, I ordered a Romo fathead for my wall and a Romo jersey. Ok, you got me. I'm so lying. Truth be told, I hate him even more now. What's also irking me this morning is the Superbowl matchup and while I vowed not to talk about it, I can't help it. It's the worst possible matchup for Patriot fans to surmise. I'm also going to do something for the first time at the end of this entry: post an advertisement.
I begin with the Romo thing. As Werder asks him what exactly happened on that fateful day against the Seahawks, Romo looks up and to the side, ums and ahs and offers this. The ball was slippery and he couldn't get a good grip on it. But following this, he does mention that it was his fault. I'm sorry, didn't you just blame it on the ball, Tony? Perhaps you're saying that it was both of your faults that contributed to the second most embarrassing play in Cowboy history (http://espn.go.com/page2/s/superbowlmoments25.html --see #11--). Here's my opinion of what happened. You mention this slippery ball and later on the interview you hop into bed with T.O. and detail how he texted you so much after that game and was just really supportive. What you forgot to mention was that this 'slippery ball' was merely a result of the semen on your hands that you failed to wipe off after beating T.O. off on the sideline prior to the field goal attempt. I mean, are you really going to build this guy up after he lead the league in dropped passes and suicide attempts? You shouldn't. Think about paying homage to those Cowboys who actually made a contribution this season. Maybe Marion Barber or Terry Glenn. I'm getting off track here...digression...my suggestion for the 'Boys is that they draft Brady Quinn and breed him to be the next Troy Aikman. Tony Romo should not be a starter in this league.
Moving onto the Superbowl XLI matchup, my bitterness goes beyond the fact that the Colts are representing the AFC in the title game. It goes beyond the fact that Peyton Manning is going to have a ring on his finger, come 10pm on 2/6 (figuratively, since the rings take months to manufacture). A lot of my angst lies in the fact that NFC's representative is the Chicago Bears, a team that the Patriots embarrassed in Foxboro back in early December. I give all the props in the world to the Bears' D and special teams. Hell, if I could take any ONE player in the NFL and put him on the Pats next year, it would be either Lance Briggs or Devin Hester. What I don't understand is how they've come this far with Rex Grossman at the helm. Do you realize that in TWO games this season, he had an overall rating of under 2? He had a fucking ZERO RATING against the Packers at the end of the season this year. Following this game, he admitted that he wasn't fully prepared for the Packers. I don't know how you can even be under-prepared for a game at the end of the season when you have absolutely everything to prove to your team, your coaches and your fans. Well, maybe fans is a strong word...let's say onlookers. People are still suggesting the Brian Griese start the Superbowl for the Bears. It's a disgrace to the NFL that he's a Superbowl quarterback.
Continuing on the anti-Rex campaign, I know that he throws a good deep ball. He always could and honestly when he was at Florida I really liked watching the Gators play. What baffles me about throwing the deep balls is that if you can have the arm strength to chuck a ball 70 yards in the air and put it on the money time and again, why the FUCK can't you throw a dump off to the flats? Why in God's name can't you hit the slant, 10 yards in front of you? And why can't you throw a 15-yard out to a receiver who you work with every, single day?? It's a mystery to me. He's got it all with his receiving corps. A tall, strong possession receiver in Muhsy, a deep threat with blazing speed in Berrian and a very solid third option in Davis. Plus, Desmond Clark isn't exactly a slouch at TE. So maybe Rex doesn't have the work ethic, I don't know. But it's just AWFUL that he's starting a Superbowl. As much as I hate the opposing QB, at least he's deserving of starting a Superbowl.
I think I've actually ranted enough for today which is an amazing feeling for me. I feel rejuvenated. And as promised, I shall conclude with an advertisement/glowing recommendation for the best hair stylist 'round there here parts. For a fine salon experience, good conversation and a downright lethal appearance when you leave, go see CHANTEL at CENTER SALON in BRIGHTON, MA (617-782-7977). My roommate swears that her work alone is responsible for 50% of his hookups since going to her, if not more. And seeing as he's Tubby, I'd venture to say it's around 85%. Seriously, you won't be let down. Just go in and ask for the 'Telly Cut' and tell her French sent you. I can't promise a discount, but they do have free dumdums. Oh, just do me one favor and don't hit on her. She happens to be Mrs. URLB/Richie's girl. So don't even think about it.
Go fuck yourself, San Diego. (in no way is this purporting any dislike or bashing of the state of California or the city of San Diego. I'm merely showing my distaste for our weather)
2 comments:
I have a theory as to Grossman's accuracy on the long ball. See, when you throw the ball deep you don't really have to worry about accuracy at all. You just throw it in the general area and let the receiver run to it. There is no calculation involved, just throw it deep and if you have decent receivers, they'll go get it.
The slant or crossing patterns are more complicated and you have to take into account how fast a particular receiver is, whether the linebackers have dropped into coverage, where the safety is, and getting it over the outstretched hands of oncoming DEs. It's too much for Grossman to assimilate in the 3-4 seconds it takes to make that decision. Which is why he constantly is throwing behind them or 25 feet over their heads. He panics. He costs the Bears at least 14 points a game. At least!
Bottom line: Grossman sucks big fat donkey balls.
I can appreciate your theory and this is probably the case for a lot of quarterbacks. It's really more of the fact that the long ball is an art form while the short pass and the mid-rangers are about precision and calculation. But having played quarterback in high school and subsequently in every pickup game I've ever played it, I find the crossing patterns and slants to be a much easier throw. This is why I am so baffled by Rex's inadequacies.
Conclusion that I've come to a thousand times over: if I were 6'4 I'd be in the NFL.
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