A Little Sac Never Hurt Nobody

A conversation I had with La last night got me thinking about something and I'd like to have the input of anyone who might care to offer some explanations. Contrary to what you might think, this is not an issue between her and I but it came up last night in regards to another subject who suffers from this thing.

I have plenty of friends who do it in the company of only male friends. Then I have a select few friends that do it whenever, wherever they might be...regardless of company. I am referring to a guy having his hand down his pants, whether he's sitting on the couch, standing against a wall, driving...you get the point. You may hear this referred to as 'playing with the pud', 'pocket pool', 'itchyballsitis', etc. All I can do here is offer my reasons for handling the meat when I do indeed handle it.

I'm a culprit of this more than any other time when I'm driving alone. I can't really say what makes it so satisfying, but it just feels good. It's not like we're pleasuring ourselves when we have the hand down there, it's more of a comfort thing. I like to lightly pull and scratch areas of the sac when I'm down there; rarely do I involve the shaft or the head. I think women might understand this better if they had a sac. It's impossible to assign a value to a this pliable, dangling bag of balls and mystery fluids but I don't know what I'd do without mine. It's fun to play with from a non-erotic standpoint and assuming I've showered that day, it's pretty clean. Granted some duck butter builds up down there (see definition below) at times and it's a dark and damp area by nature but it's pretty clean because I'm hygienic. I just hate when girls refer to having a hand down our pants as 'gross' because really, if it's gross to you that my hand is down there, why would you ever put your mouth down there, for cryin' Pete? That doesn't make sense. Of course, using this argument will only backfire as surely whichever girl you say this to will ultimately become the warrior princess of not giving head. Like, she'll become all militant about it and forever blame you for pointing out that she's a hypocrite. Thus no bj's for you anymore. Nooooooooo bj's.

Another main reason for needing to lightly scratch and tug at the sac on a regular basis is because it's the itchiest place on my body, hands down. it's not like a disease thing, but if you think about, there are long hairs on the sac that curl in and constantly tickle the ball bag and make it necessary to get down there and give it a scratch, or a rub, or a tug. Again, any girl would understand if she possessed a ball bag. I know that we, as guys, don't see you, as girls, with your hand down your pants, playing around. I think this would gross me out, yes. But it's so different. There's nothing remotely close between our sex organs and yours. It's not like we're...forget it, I can't go there. But you get what I mean. It's not the same ballpark...it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. (Winfield)

This isn't really directed at anyone in particular because again, La and I had a very casual and funny conversation about this last night. Frankly, I don't think she gives a fuck either way but I tend not to do this in public simply because I choose not to. But I can defend those who do because I understand.

duck butter - noun.

1. The sweat that builds up on your ball bag from intense heat and eventually makes its way down towards the crack and settles in. (aka swamp ass)

2. The mud in the swamp.

i.e. (as quoted from the Uncle) I'm working with some serious duck butter right now; time for a wipe.