What's in a number? I will be forever intrigued by the pathology, rhyme and reason behind a player's choice of number. I thought I'd explore some of the different ways in which some have chosen their identity on their jersey. I will also question a few number selections along the way that I view as just plain hair-brained.
Let's look at Kobe first. After years of wearing number 8, he has switched to number 24 this season; this was his high school number. I'm thinking that he felt like he possibly tainted the number 8, what with his butt-fuckathon up in Colorado. I concur, but what about the previous 'Great 8's'? Yaz, Steve Young, Troy Aikman, Cal Ripken, Yogi...well Kobe, I prop the change. I never liked the 8 because what is it, really? It's two zeroes on top of each other. It might be perfectly symmetrical, but that's about it. It really brings nothing to the table. But 2 multiplied by 4 is 8, so you're still fucked. And I hate you.
Bassy had been 31 throughout high school and his initial pro stint with Portland...however, he couldn't have it in Boston because of "Max". He went with 30, apparently because it was the closest thing this side of 36. 32 was McHale, 33 speaks for itself, PP is 34 and the late, great Reginald Lewis was 35. I'd go with 36 over 30, personally. With 30, you're stuck in a pile of mediocrity amongst the likes of Dell Curry, Mewelde Moore, Chad Scott, David West (a little better than mediocre), Matt Clement...you look at 36, and you're joined by the Bus, Lawyer Milloy, Matthew Barnaby (I had to throw that in, because come on, who knows his number? That's right, this guy)...switch up, Sebastian. You're better than your number suggests.
I'd like to analyze my high school football number next. I was number 10 from 8th grade through junior year, and me and 10 had some good times. Won the QB job as a junior, ran wild over many-a-team junior year and picked off my first pass with 10. I mean, we were tight. Senior year, I switched it up because my long pined-after object of affection wore number 13 in field hockey. That season started off well enough...some solid wins, switched off between 1 and 2 in the conference in total points. But then the wheels fell off the bus. I sustained 7 (how many? 7.) concussions that season and ultimately broke my fibula and dislocated my ankle on Thanksgiving day against Georgetown. A reconstructive surgery later, I would never play again. Save me the 'unlucky 13' bullshit here. Never change your number for a girl.
I'd like to conclude by questioning various number selections based on what I've seen in various sports. Tony Delk, 00. Never got that. Maybe alright for a big man, and only because I love the Chief. But not a below-average guard. Michael Doleac, 51. Why? Unless you're a linebacker, there is no good reason for wearing 51. There are several 1's out there, and personally, you shouldn't wear the number 1 unless you're one of the best. McGrady is fine. Smush Parker, no. Trevor Ariza, please. Anthony Peeler...right. Josh Childress? Uh, no. I'll give Samuel Dalembert a pass because I don't mind a center wearing it. It seems fitting for some reason. Kickers and goalies, too. You're ok with 1. Anyone else, you're only fooling yourself with that shit. You're better off with 0, but Gilbert is slowly reinventing that number.
That's about all I got for now. Anyone care to offer Y.A. Tittle's number? Hmm? I'll give you a hint: The sum of the two digits in his number equal Tim Hardaway divided by Tim Couch. Sit on that.
11 comments:
Jesus Christ. You changed your high school number that you'd been wearing (with Great Success!) for four years to conicide with a girl's field hockey number? Can't say I'm totally surprised, given your track record, but man, did the other players on the team know about this? Did you have any friends on the team? I'm assuming not because letting your quarterback change his number for a field hockey player is like letting your quarterback pose on a farm while hugging a goat in a national magazine.... i mean... whatever. you're a sad man.
At first I was confused by your use of the phrase "pathology" of sports numbers....but agreeing with the previous comment by "Rich" I would agree that "pathology" (meaning the process of disease) would indeed fit the case....who the fuck changes their number for a girl? There needs to be an entire blog written on this specific story.
A sad man? I wasn't a man in high school. Sad boy, maybe. But so what? It all worked out, because the girl I landed after the injury was much better looking. It was a blessing in disguise. I think it's time for your mosh.
I see where you're coming from with the pathology comment. For me, it's form-fitting. But thanks for defining 'pathology'. Much appreciated. Stay tuned for future blog about said girl and the number change.
were a sad boy; now a sad man; always a sad panda; and eet ees now tame fer me mosh...
As the starting QB for your team you switched your high school football number for a girl? Did she ask you to do it? Why? Im very confused....
The Rooster
Hey anonymous, let me ask you this. Have you never done anything remotely stupid for a girl/guy/whatever because you were infatuated? Not to mention, 17 years old? I will say that 'pathology' is a bit of a stretch, but I was aiming at my own dysfunction when it comes to women (I will say prior dysfunction). Well, you say dysfunction maybe. I say hopeless romanticism...you're not French, so congratulations.
Rooster, no...she didn't ask me to. I don't think she ever even noticed, because it's not like she went to any games. Honestly, there was a little bit of a draw to the number already as that of Marino, but she was also a factor...I was going to change my number regardless.
Where do I begin? I guess I should start with looking myself in the mirror for living with a man such as yourself, French. The aformentioned number change would obviously never happen under the new French's watch because mentored by the Uncle he has been.
Get it? I'm Yoda.
Again Carl, lest you forget, it was Richard who mentored me the night of the French Connection. You disappeared with a girl who likes to say, "Hey Chippa, let's bang." Not that this is a bad thing at all...quite the contrary. While you have been an excellent mentor along the way for me, alas, I have left the nest.
One more thing...as pointed out by a "Bowen", friend of La French, Kobe's number change probably had more to do with merchandising than anything else. To quote him, "...by changing his number, he's effectively making all Kobe fans shell out another $125. Thus re-affirming he is a flaming asshole." Well said, Bowen. Well said. Kobe's a fucking cocksucker.
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