Appreciate This, F*cko.

There are so many things in this comedic world that I appreciate on a daily basis. On the flipside of that, there are just as many that I just cannot appreciate, whether from overuse, misuse or general misunderstanding on the part of the delivering party. I came across one of these this morning, and it triggered my piss-poor morning that has since ensued.

I was printing a manual to one of our products this morning, all 88 pages of it. Naturally, the printer jammed. Over and over and over again. My frustration growing, one of my colleagues overheard my plenty-audible curses of 'this fucking printer' and 'oh, fuck you'. So he comes over and wouldn't you know it, he makes an Office Space reference. Now, I am game for these anytime. But they have to be dead on because they are so often overused and misused. If he had thrown a "PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?" at me, I would have been easily amused and perhaps relieved of my ever-growing stress from my paper jam. But he faultered. He went with "Oh, it's like Office Space, dude. You know? When the printer jams?" Yeah, Dave. I fucking know. You know what would be grand? If you could never talk to me again. Seriously, never.

Dave had successfully made my problem worse by blowing a perfectly good opportunity to be funny. If he had said nothing it all, I'd be in a better place right now.

I'm going to be a little tangential right now because I don't want to talk about failed humor anymore. Has anyone taken a good look around lately at our little microcosm of Boston? Where the fuck are we? Shit is warped out there right now and today it really hit me. One, as La French pointed out to me, it's warmer in Boston today than it is in LA. Fucked. Two, the Bruins have won 7 of 9 and may actually be a contender with Tim Thomas in net. Super fucked. Three, the Sox are pursuing a Japanese wonderboy, JD Drew, and dumping Manny. And today they signed another Japanese pitcher, Hideki Okajima, from the Nippon Ham Fighters. THE NIPPON HAM FIGHTERS. Best nickname ever in sports. Anyway, all of a sudden the Sox have an Asian fetish? Todoshi, todoshi. This is all pretty heavy stuff to me.

What brings me back to reality...the C's continue to blow 15-20 point leads in the fourth quarter and teeter between below-average and putrid. The Pats are where we expected them to be and no one is really too concerned with whether or not they'll be back in the AFC Championship game. And of course, the Manny talk. I have to list this one in both categories because while I believe him to really be gone this time (Ortiz convinced me in offering that Drew will bat 4th behind him), it's still familiar and somewhat comforting to me. So we are still in Boston. I'm thankful, I'm thankful.

On top of all of this, I will be in Vegas in exactly two weeks with my boys and it is going to be fucking glorious. Two weeks, gents. How many? 2. TWO.