I'm hungover like a wet towel on a door today, so I need to use my brain to take my mind off of how horribly, horrendously brutal I feel. Here's some simple math for you, French-style.
Rex Grossman x Ben Roethlisberger = Lawrence Taylor
Lawrence Taylor - Roger Staubach = Jim Brown, Jim Brown divided by Phil Simms = Ben Gordon (UConn)
Ben Gordon (Bulls) x Bruce Gradkowski = Tully Banta-Cain, originally with Pats
Current Tully - Current Jabar Gaffney = Mark Duper
Subtract Irving Fryar from Mark Duper and your left with Kerry Collins (pros), but if you take Kerry Collins PSU and add Todd Collins MICH, then you have Dave Meggett. But take Dave Meggett and tack on Will Demps, you've got Tim Krumrie. Weird, right? I know. I've thought about it a lot.
Here's another twisted one: If you take Boomer Esiason and subtract Ray Lucas, that leaves you with Tony Franklin. But if you take Tony Franklin and stick him with, say, Keith Traylor, now you're stuck with Warren Sapp. Sorry, man. Too bad.
Another one? Sure. How about this one: Start with Mosi Tatupu and add on his son Lofa...you've just created a real nice one in the form of Art Monk. Art fucking Monk! Awesome. Actually, I'd like to quote ACK's blog here and call it equal parts rootin' and tootin'.
Here's one that might just blow your mind. If you take Rich Levine, 2006 Softball, and add Adam Blaustein, 2006 Softball, that leaves you with Peyton Manning. Now subtract Carl Fierimonte, high school lacrosse, and you're back to Adam Blaustein 06 Softball. I just can't get over it. It's so weird.
In the spirit of not pissing off my boys anymore with a tight grip, I shall enter the shower now. Plus, if I continue with this shit while Rich looks over my shoulder, I might end up with a few shards of computer screen embedded in my face. I'm truly sorry if you've read through this entire posting, because you've now wasted the last 3 or 4 minutes of your life wondering what in God's name is wrong with me. Lest you forget...Je suis French. A demain.
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