I got to thinking about the fist pump this morning, and all of the different uses that it has in my life. I am fairly certain that I use this action at least once a day for some reason or another, but it's got so many uses that I can't possibly predict when one might surface. But one came out of me this morning, so I've decided to dedicate this blog entry to the fist pump. I'm also opening the comment floor to details of strange placements of the fist pump.
I gave a pretty emphatic fist pump this morning upon arriving to my car. You see, when I sleep at La's, I have to park on the street...which is never an issue unless it's Wednesday night because they clean the main street on these nights. Anyway, I parked on the this main road prior to going to the C's game, thinking I'd just move it when we got back. I did just this, but only to one of the adjoining side streets which are not on the same street cleaning schedule. The only problem with the side streets there is that they are resident parking only, whereas the main road is just metered parking during the day. I've parked on the side streets before and been ticketed, so I was expecting another ticket this morning. But alas, when I arrived at my vehicle at 7am to drive to work, NO TICKET. This provoked what I like to call the 'Bledsoe Fist Pump'. This entails a stutter step backwards and then a full-out, over the head fist pump while falling back on your back foot. Unexpected fist pumps are usually of this variety because you're kind of taken aback before you pump the fist.
Here are some different varieties of the fist pump which you may have different names for:
The Indy - performed when walking through a crowd of booers; you're probably in enemy territory and surrounded by said enemies. But you proudly raise a fist in the air and walk on, smiling. The Indy is especially well complimented by one of your buddies displaying one finger that signifies that you're also number 1. The boos will intensify, however.
The Arsenio - rarely used anymore, unless you're watching Springer. You know the one, where you make the fist and then move it in a circular motion around your ear/ side of head. I only find this one appropriate if you're in the company of many friends and you make a derrogatory kind of joke that gets a lot of 'oohs'. You would do the Arsenio while yelling "whoop, whoop", then you look around and say, "what, no good?"
The Vegas - I think this one was spawned during my last trip to Vegas with my boys, and it kind of invented itself while we were watching the Cowboys game which we had some money riding on. When it was finally certain that we had won the parlay and we'd be getting a table at Body English, I put my arm around Carl, placed my head on his shoulder and pumped lightly with the free hand. It was more of a relief-laden type of fist pump where you kind of want to shed a tear because of the events that just unfolded. Another version of the Vegas would occur if you didn't have someone like Carl there...if you were alone, you'd place your head on the table which you're sitting at and lightly pump the right fist in a sort of relieved jubilation.
I'd have to say that these are my favorite variations of the fist pump. I'd like to round off this post with a little commentary on the C's-Lakers game that La and I attended last night. I am pretty certain that Kobe is the first person that I have ever legitamately wanted to be maimed. I mean, truly physically harmed to where he endures more pain than Jesus supposedly did while on the cross. He's such a piece of shit. He attempted no less than 6 behind the back passes in this game, and one of them literally rolled to Lamar Odom because it was from so far away. I know he's a great player and his skill is nearly unmatched but he's so unhumble that it makes me physically ill. Way to go Kobe, taunting a team that has a starting lineup where the average age is 23...showboating in front of the future of the league and he (Gerald Green) is the one acting like a seasoned veteran after making an eye-popping move. I guess that's my point here. No one should act like you and when a 19-year-old acts more mature than you, it's blogworthy. Congratulations, Kobe. You beat the worst team in the NBA, and you showboated the whole way through it like you had just won the title. MJ never did it. Larry never did it. You truly are in a league of your own. Actually, no...you and T.O. are there together, holding hands and whacking each other off.
Happy Thursday,
One Disgusted Frenchman
7 comments:
I prefer the 'Reverse Pump' where you start out high and bring it down. Usually puncuated with a 'YES!!'
And thank you for pointing out what a panty waste Kobe is. I hate him. You forgot to add Bonds into the TO-Kobe mix. I say we refer to these three asswipes as the Sports Axis of Evil. You on board?
Not only am I on board...I'm already ass up on the deck as a result of too much rum, matey. Looks like me scurvy be actin' up agayne. Arrgh.
i was very entertained by the mamba last nite but what bothered me the most were all the hacks in the stands wearing their #8 and #24 lakers jerseys. (the fact that he switched #'s is a rant for another time). they were cheering for him like they knew him. it made me want to poke my eyes out.
a few others in the Hall of Fist Pumps...
The Jeter: Pumping your fist over and over and over again after doing something rather routine, like an RBI double when you're down seven runs. Be sure to be staring in the dugout (or in our case, towards your group of friends), until either 1) they acknowledge you just did something, or 2) Joe Buck comments on how big of a competitor you are.
The Tiger: Bring left arm forward, hanging it in air while dragging your back foot forward, then taking your right fist and throwing an uppercut while yelling. Then repeat every time you do something cool for the rest of your life.
The MJ: After accomplishing your feat, turn your back on what you just did and while walking away, perform one single fist pump at eye level, then hold your fist there with a determined look on your face. Kobe tried to steal this one, and I steal it all the time while playing Golden Tee.
I was signing on to write that any discussion of the fist pump begins and ends with The Jordan, but Hammen beat me to it. Kobe stole it and although his theft flies a little more under the radar, Rip Hamilton blatantly stole MJs pump from their time together in Washington.
Amen to the Jordan remarks. Hammen is a force to be reckoned with. What about the Gretzky? Where you drop to a knee and slide the fist and forearm back and forth?
the fans in boston seemed to enjoy it as the crowd chanted "kobe" and "mvp".
peter may said it best "All in all, you have to say the fans got what they paid for. And by now, they have come to understand that a Boston win is not part of the deal."
Post a Comment