15 February 2007

Top Six List, Volume One


Here are the top six ways you can effectively fuck with Tim Hardaway.
6. Call him and put on your best gay man voice. Tell him you miss his sweet, silky-smooth drives to the hole from his days as a penetrating point guard.


5. Call Chris Berman and pay him off to talk about Tim Hardaway during his next SportsCenter appearance. Make sure he uses the nickname of Tim "I like it in the ass and I like it the" Hardaway.


4. Plop a nice, big rainbow sticker on the back of his ride. Make sure it's plainly visible to everyone who sees him driving.


3. Ask him to autograph a picture of himself, and have him make it out to your gay brother Benji, with hugs and kisses.


2. Send exactly (2) throwback jerseys to his house, custom jerseys with 'Hardaway' on the back: the old school Nuggets jersey, circa Alex English, and the old school Astros jersey, circa Nolan Ryan.


1. Order him a year subscription to Playgirl, and make sure he gets the free gift...which is a dildo that has John Amaechi's head for the tip.


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