21 February 2007

French's Recipes: Numero Un.



Perhaps I'm starting to have way too many 'segments' as part of the blog, but I am constantly finding new ones to contribute. Thus, I bring you French's Recipes: Numero Un.


Simpleton Shrimp
1lb. large shrimp (cleaned and peeled...approx 20-25 shrimp)
½ bag of spinach
1C chopped scallions
3C snap peas, in pods
1C olive oil
2 tbsp minced garlic
4C water
½ pkg. Angel Hair Pasta


Heat 2 tbsp. of olive oil in large skillet on medium heat. Add 1 tbsp. garlic and let sit until lightly browned. Add spinach, pea pods and scallions. Cover for five minutes, stir with large spoon and re-cover for another 5 minutes. In the meantime, bring four cups of water to a boil on stove and add angel hair. Transfer vegetable mixture to a bowl, add another 2 tbsp. olive oil to skillet and other tbsp garlic. Brown garlic lightly and add half of shrimp. Cook on one side for two minutes, flip and cook for another 2 minutes. (shrimp should be pink on both sides when done) Remove and add other half of shrimp to pan, repeat process. After shrimp is finished, add vegetables and other half shrimp to skillet. Add pasta and rest of olive oil, sea salt and pepper to taste. Toss for a minute, serve immediately in bowls. Feeds 2.


I'm not going soft here, I just think it's high time someone contributes a recipe or two to his/her blog so that we can all pick up a few tricks here and there.


I was also thinking this morning...about who I would just absolutely not want to be right now...who has just a miserable existence these days and would probably rather be one of those poor bastards who follows the Clydesdale's in parades and shovels their shit. Here are my picks:


1. Doc Rivers.


What a suck-ass life he has right now. You can pretty much read his mind as he sits on the C's bench during games. Last night, he looked like the disinterested JV girl's coach from my high school that only took the job so he could stay after their practice and shoot around until the janitor locked up. Before long, Doc will lose the suit and tie on the sideline and start showing up with an Ohio State t-shirt, denim jams and a beer in each hand and just root for the other team from the C's bench. And how about Wally? I want to feel bad for him, I really do...seeing him weep into his towel on the bench last night was almost too much. But he sucks so fucking bad that I can't sympathize with him. I hate him and hope he's out for the year. Such a liability.


2. Tom Brady


He's still Tom Brady, yes. But if this kid is his, it's gonna suck pretty hard. Sure, he can just throw a bunch of money at Bridget and keep the whole thing in the background and hopefully continue plugging Gisele and the other Victoria's Secret models, but come on folks...this is Tom Brady we're talking about. There's no way he takes the easy way out in this one. He's got too big of a conscience to be an absentee father. No more happy fun-time if this pans out. He'll have to go back to bringing Bridget's V.S. catalog into the bathroom to make love to Gisele. Yeeeeeeee-ikes.


3. Josh Bauer


Talk about a tough fucking day for this guy. He's what, 14? In the last few hours, his Dad was killed by his own grandfather, he found out that this same Dad was responsible for a nuclear bomb going off and killing thousands of Americans, he's had a gun pointed at his head and probably assumed he was going to die. GOOD LORD. But he still has a hot mom, which probably doesn't make a difference to him but he's gotta find something good in his life at this point. Prediction: Josh develops a severe Oedipus complex, starts banging him mom, kills his grandfather with his bare hands and becomes Jack's new arch enemy. It could happen.


4. Jack Bauer


Only if the aforementioned happens.

3 comments:

BeachBum said...

My prediction: Josh is Jack's son. It can't be a coincidence they look alike and we know there's a history between Jack and Mom.

Anonymous said...

hey martha, thanks for the recipe. i appreciate the help in the kitchen and all, but come on. don't try and defend it. you have gone soft, and are now doing so for the whole world to see. its great that you have found the love of your life and want to cook her a different meal each night, but for the love of god, please spare the rest of us. stick to your usual ranting and raving, and leave the domestic stuff to rachel ray...your good friend fono

Charles said...

Could you please find some pussy, Fornari? I'm sick of your derelict attitude all because you have to beat off so much. And who's Rachel Ray?

Confession: I do prefer the company of one vagina to that of eight dicks. It's true.