Bridesmaids

Before I post this--my first blog and hopefully not my last--I have to thank Rich for showing me the way. Thanks, guy (for those unfamiliar with the French language, the use of guy will appear often and it's pronounced gee).

I spent the weekend in NYC for my buddy Jake's wedding; I also served as a groomsman. My question is this: what is the policy on bridemaids if you are a groomsman?

I was paired with a lovely specimen of a woman. She was young, blonde and slender with bedroom eyes and ample curves. I was told she was single and subsequently the only other Gentile other than myself in the wedding party (this was a Jewish affair). Seems like a layup, does it not? Not so fast, Earnhardt. Turns out she's a recovering pill-popper/alcoholic who would not be partaking in the evening's festivities of gassing beers and pounding shots of Patron. That did it for me, because my fate would ultimately turn out in true French fashion, with me getting kicked out of a bar just after the reception. Would this have deterred everyone else from trying to take it down? My good buddy Nate suggested that I should try to persuade her into falling off the wagon for just one night. I thought long and hard about this one, but it seemed very wrong.

I don't know, perhaps I squandered a golden opportunity (if you read this Russ, I'm sure you'll concur) and granted, I did have her giggling as we ambled up the aisle following the ceremony. But I just couldn't bring myself to get after it.