25 June 2007

No Small Feat

As we age, the milestones we can reach in our lives become fewer and farther between. For me personally, I have the milestone of turning 30 around the corner...but still a few years away. Aside from that, I guess eventual fatherhood is on that list along with marriage, making millions of dollars without lifting a finger, retirement, terminal illness and death. A child, however, has several milestones to look forward. The younger, the better. Most of you are familiar with Aaron at this point; he's my almost-four year-old nephew whom I write about from time to time. He reached one of those milestones yesterday.

Mind you, the big A is at the point where he has the potential to reach a milestone every day of his young life. He ate some home made granola yesterday for the first time, and this was tremendous. His diet is very limited, so there are countless foods that he could add to his diet that would count as a milestone because a kid his age broadening his taste buds is great for his parents and for him. For the last year or more, the kid has been eating the following at every dinner I've been at: carrots, oatmeal, bran buds, bread, cereal and ice cream. You might imagine that he's probably as regular as a Sunday coming after Saturday. And this leads me to my point in this whole thing.


Me: "Hey buddy! How's it going?"

Aaron: "I made a big poop!" (hands out, about two feet apart, showing us the approximate size of the poop)

Lauren: "We heard, that's awesome!"

Aaron: "I made a big poop!" (hands wider now; as the myth grows, so does the poop)


He told several people about his poop yesterday, and the event wasn't that he had made his first poop, but that he had made it in the toilet. How proud he must have been...after all those days and nights of pooping in his diaper, he can finally see his creation as opposed to having it smeared within that diaper...all over his bum. No longer will he have to walk around carrying the weight and stench of his own feces. A feat to be recognized and celebrated, indeed! So here's to you, little man. Keep on doing your thing in that big, white bowl. There will come a time when it's not such a celebratory thing and people won't be so eager to congratulate you. Trust me, I know. When you're old enough to read this, ask my Dad about the stick incident in the motorhome.

Here's something else of note from this weekend: I realized that I am/on my way to being Jack Arnold. La and I were watching an episode of the Wonder Years at some point and Jack brought Kevin to work with him for the day because Kevin was extremely curious about what his father did. We learn that Jack gets calls from angry customers about late shipments, has to answer to some old guy as to why parts aren't shipping in a timely fashion, and the people that surround him are older, heavier women who answer the phone and give him messages. This is my day, for the most part. I did learn something from this, though. I don't want to be Jack Arnold. I don't want to be Manager of Distribution someday, and I don't want look at the coffee break as the best part of my day. What 70's or 80's sitcom character are you? Maybe the Wonder Years doesn't qualify as a sitcom, but you know what I mean. Perhaps you don't work, drive a blue van and clean someone's house all day. This makes you Tony Miceli. Or maybe you live downstairs from some average, American family, take care of their kids sometimes and work at a pizza parlor. This makes you Charles in Charge. Or perhaps you're the best friend from of a guy who lives downstairs from some average, American family and works at a pizza parlor. This makes you Buddy Lembeck.

***Sox Update***

Two out of three in San Diego, five straight Yankee losses and more phenomenal pitching from our staff. Things are good in the Nation, and lo-and behold, Coco and JD are starting to hit. Of course Lugo is under .200 and it's really gotta be about time to bench him for Cora, but other than that, all is well. Word is that Kason Gabbard will be up for a few starts in Schilling's place, giving Jon Lester more ramp up time down on the farm. Personally, I don't mind this because I want Lester to be 100% when he comes back. And we don't really need him now. Tavarez has been nothing short of outstanding, and as La said this weekend, I really don't hate him anymore. His antics on the mound are endearing. So give Lester more time, give Schilling some time off and let Dice and JB keep holding down our staff by throwing a gem virtually every time they take the mound. There's nothing to complain about right now.

6 comments:

pacing the cage said...

I am Balki Bartokomous and I live with my cousin, Larry Appleton.

Anonymous said...

Perfect Strangers ruled. I would be more than happy to be Charles in charge, having to look after Nicole Eggert all day. Yea, I went there. Statutory anyone? Props to the big A. I remember when Ev did that the first time and I gave him my game boy as a reward. Now just teach him to read while he is on the throne. no good?

D-Lo said...

How did tonight's Sox game go? Oh, that's right...

Charles said...

The Sox haven't had the best luck in Seattle as of late. Last night was one of those 'don't touch' game lines...Sox favored, Tavarez hadn't lost in 8 starts, Weaver has been putrid this season (although good in his last two or three starts)...but inevitably, the Sox ger shut down by the Lanky Loser. Oh well.

Come on, who's gonna come through and claim to be Boner from Growing Pains? Someone? Anyone?

BeachBum said...

I always had you pegged as a Sam Malone type. He had a past drinking problem, you have a past smoking problem. He loved reliving his days in baseball, you still reference your high school quarterbacking days. He was a ladies man......

Damn, I was onto something there for a minute.

Mike said...

Ah, the stick incident in the motor home. Wasn't there nonstick cooking spray involved? Good times.