Scattered Brains

I can't help but wonder...

Why would you want to be a fly on the wall as opposed to say, someone hiding in the closet, or crouched behind the bar? If you're a fly, for one, you're probably not going to live through whatever it is you're hoping to see/hear. Also, you'll probably be too busy dodging hands and fly swatters to be able to pay attention to anything else. This saying is only acceptable if you're looking to overhear a conversation between two other flies. Then it's okay to want to be a fly on the wall.

I can't help but wonder...

Why are two of the synonyms for 'crazy' items that can be found in a banana split? Yes, that's right. Nuts and bananas. Why did they stop there? What about cherries and whipped cream? Nuts and bananas are my least favorite of the banana split components, but maybe that makes the most sense for being synonymous with crazy. I also find it curious that we use the word 'plum' to modify crazy. Another fruit? Who comes up with this shit? All of these can easily be replaced with 'fuck' or some form of it, which is my choice for reformation. You're not nuts, you're fucked. And you're not plum crazy, you're fucking crazy. Now, has anyone seen my fucking plum? Oh there it is, right under my fucking nuts. I'm going bananas. FUCK.

I can't help but wonder...

Why is that every time I go to plug something in with a two-pronged plug, I put it in the wrong way? Granted, I never look at the prongs to see which is the fat one and therefore which one should go in which socket, but when I tell you that I NEVER get it right by guessing, I NEVER do. It's a 50/50 shot and I have never been right. It drives me...well, nuts. Fucking nuts. I am to the point where I will yell "WHY?" every time I plug something in. This phenomenon is so far beyond me that it's gotta be supernatural. And if you make me plug something in to test it, it won't work because it just won't. I know it. But this is true. All of it.

A Haiku for A.I.

Allen is coming
Sleeve, could he be the answer?
Nope, no fucking way.