Does a bear shit in the woods?

This statement never leaves me straight-faced upon hearing it, because it always gets me thinking about if a bear does shit in the woods.

1. That Charmin commercial pops into my head where you see the bears coming over to the tree to retrieve a fresh roll of toilet paper. This would suggest a less primitive latrine for the bears; maybe an outhouse? I can picture the big bear, the head of the bunch, taking his time in the outhouse. Up walks one of the younger, smaller cubs. He knocks, gives a "...hey, wouldja hurry up in there? I really gotta go", and the big bear just freaks out and reminds the cub who's boss. The cub walks away dejected, suggesting that the big bear at least light a match before departing the outhouse.

2. Bears hibernate for months on end during the winter season. I'm assuming they don't relieve themselves during this seasonal siesta, so wouldn't the average bear wake up and immediately head for the john? Given this assumption, if I were a bear I wouldn't run out into the woods from my cave to take the inaugural dump. You never know who's out there. What if that special lady bear from summer last is bathing in the brook nearby? Surely you don't want her first Spring impression of you to be one of squatting and wincing one out. You can bet that her jar of honey is going to be OFF LIMITS to you if she sees this colonic display as she bathes.

3. Privacy has got to be taken into consideration here, folks. You're a bear, you probably produce a sizeable load...if there's a struggle, do you really want to chance that anyone/thing is going to happen upon you, mid-grunt? Holy embarrassing. You're no longer big, scary bear. You're now funny, pooping bear. And no one's afraid of funny, pooping bear.

So the next time I ask my father something that he believes to be a question leading to an obvious affirmation and he offers, "Does a bear shit in the woods?", I will offer these suggestions, therefore showing him that perhaps a bear does not shit in the woods in the literal sense. It's highly plausible that said bear is cultured, polite and prone to embarrassment and therefore shits in private.