16 July 2007

A Tale of Two Blogs

(Travis, me, Hammen, Alex, Kristen and Lauren)

Blog worlds collided this weekend as the infamous Hammen brought a little slice of North Dakota to Boston, along with his girlfriend Alex, his buddy Travis and Travis' fiancé Kristen. I have a feeling he'll write something along these same lines upon his return to Grand Forks, but seemingly everyone who came to find out about this get together thought it was the weirdest thing since the Wizards alternate jerseys.


Verbal exchange of the weekend:


La: (to Travis and Kristen) "Just so you guys know, I might be able to get you a friends and family rate at one of our hotels on your honeymoon."


Alex: "Well, if you guys come to Grand Forks, we can get you a discount at Perkins."


(If you're not familiar with Perkins, http://www.perkinsrestaurants.com/home.html)


Some of the things that I learned from this weekend are:


1. North Dakotans do not like the movie Fargo.


2. Interest in professional sports varies greatly, considering there are exactly zero teams represented there. Hence, Hammen's loyalties are with the Sox, Knicks, Titans and Jayhawks. That's some shit right there.


3. A three bedroom apartment in Grand Forks goes for about $800...total. Kill me now, please.


4. I just read #2 again and I take back the last part of #3. Unless I ever move to ND.


5. Grand Forks, ND is a 22 hour drive from Florence, AL. And Florence, apparently, is kinda shitty.


6. North Dakotans are Twin fans generally, but the University of North Dakota's biggest rival is the University of Minnesota.


So that's what I learned this weekend. All in all, it was a very positive experience and the highlight of the weekend...a weekend that also had some very unenjoyable moments, but I'm not going to bother to go into them. By the way Jum, I plan on coming to Lawrence for a game this season, so keep that in mind. Rock, chalk.


Odds 'N' Ends


There's an unknown man in my office that produces such a foul smelling fecal matter...such a powerful stench...that our industrial strength air-freshener can only whimper at the odor and wave a white flag. For weeks now, I've gone into the belly of that latrine, only to be shunned by the sour smell of what can be described as a cross between low tide and rotting carcass. It's truly and remarkably awful. To be honest, I want to find the dude and tell him to stop eating whatever raw sewage he's been consuming for the past few weeks because he's making my life miserable. I know I'm not the only one, because man after man will walk in and out of that bathroom with hands held high in defeat. I can't take much more of it, so in time I will draw up a sign and put it on the bathroom stall door:


TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:


This note is intended for you, Mr. Cess Pool Colon. You know who you are because you most certainly vomit at the smell of your own excretions. Well, enough is enough. You're making people sick. Next time, go dig a hole in the woods out back, shit in that hole and bury it so no one has to lose yet another appetite. Also, STOP EATING MCDONALDS. Thank you.

7 comments:

pacing the cage said...

well done, kids. it's nice to see the blogging world bringing people together. to james and french, i also intend on getting to a game in lawrence, as I've put a wrench in our streak last year with the whole broken ankle deal. February works best for me, and traditionally that presidents day weekend works quite well. If Lane's place isn't big enough obviously people can crash at oldest brother's place. French, fly to KC and we'll pick you up.

Jonathan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jonathan said...

I am glad ND has made a splash in Boston...You will enjoy your tremendous 12 at perkins...I also plan making a trip to KU for a game and I will be the guy cheering for who ever is in town that night...Rock Chalk Gay Hawk...

pacing the cage said...

anyone over 6'11" isn't invited.

Jum said...

To anyone coming to Lawrence this year, we will have a spare bedroom, a.k.a. my "Fortress of Solitude." I will allow people over 6'11'', but unfortunately not people who have "Showtime" scented body wash and who use those headsets for their cell phones while sitting on the couch. Sorry Jonny.

French, thanks for everything. It was awesome. In the words of Travis as we were leaving on Sunday night, "Should we thank them for being normal?"

dvjs said...

wow. tyler wilson eat your heart out. internet friends become actual friends.

Anonymous said...

I feel an emptiness inside due to the fact that I missed this tremendous meeting of the minds. I hope it will heal in time. Sorry for not making the trip to beantown. Especially so that guy would not have to be the 7th wheel.