26 July 2007

Behold...


The Baconator


Go to Wendy's, get the Biggie Size combo meal and feast your ass-I mean eyes-on these sobering facts about the Baconator combo meal:


2290 Calories


127g of Fat


48g of Saturated Fat


350 mg of Cholesterol


5010 mg of Sodium


The box that it comes in also has a warning from the Surgeon General:
the Baconator may cause bacon-related child defects (child being born with a pot belly and a curly tail; oinks instead of crying). It should not be consumed by someone under the influence of alcohol because you'll be too drunk to remember the heart attack it caused.


I know, you're all thinking that all of a sudden, I'm health conscious and telling you about unholy food and its nutritional value (Bowen, I'm sorry you love Boloco. Nate, you too. But get a grip).

I'm just trying to help you out, but if you're stupid enough to eat the Baconator, I think you've got a host of other problems that have nothing to do with me and should thus consult a neurologist to make sure you have a working brain up there. You've heard of the proverbial 'shit sandwich', no? It's the one that someone might offer you in an effort to really insult you or make you feel unwanted. Well, you'd be better off eating a real shit sandwich than the Baconator. For real, next time you have the urge to consume a Baconator, call me up. I'll gladly shit in a bun and serve it up to you on a plate. Would you like fries with that?

8 comments:

BeachBum said...

Does your shit have six slices of bacon, though?

DOES IT!!?????

Anonymous said...

This blog is becoming a bit too "happy."

Charles said...

Happy is as happy does, sir. You must be a big advocate of BK.

D-Lo said...

One of my personal favorite nutrition crusades is that against the over-consumption of calorie and fat-laden coffee-based beverages. For example, a 16oz. Starbucks vanilla frappucino has a delightful 430 calories, 14 grams of fat (9 of which are of the saturated variety), 55 mg of cholesterol, and 60 grams of sugar. Additionally, the seemingly innocuous 16 oz. unflavored latte has a refreshing 220 cal., 11 grams of fat(7 saturated), and 16 grams of sugar. Seriously, people drink these almost EVERY day, as if a drink doesn't have calories simply because it owes its origin in part to coffee beans. Additionally, it's not like these are solid foods that are actually counting as a meal, but rather extra calories just added on a daily basis, and often late at night when we should have shut our pie-holes for the evening. My recommendation is that we should all get an americano (15 calories, 0 g fat, 0 g sugar) or a drip (5 calories, 0 g fat, 0 grams sugar) and run our fat asses around the block a few times. Okay, thanks for listening.

BeachBum said...

Good call, d-lo (are you related to J-Lo?). I get the iced Americano every morning. You negelected to mention that it has 4 shots of espresso, thus making it a very good jump starter for non-morning people such as myself.

Anonymous said...

guy, you have to go easy. the fact that you crush wendy's, and prop bk and mcdonalds, is abysmal. i would eat wendy's over those 2 any day of the week. as far as the shit sandwhich, i'm pretty sure the fecal bacteria would cause hepatitis or something worse, and thus would be far worse for you than the baconator. i'm not running right out to get one, but consider me the voice of reason trying to knock you off of your high pedestal.

Jonathan said...

MMMMMM bacon...This is wendy's answer to the Biggie Triple stack combo...2710 cals...145g of fat 55 sat grams of fat...but, but 110% of your daily iron...as an iron deficient american I would say this is a great meal...Wendy's do what what taste's right and what is good for the Anemic Americans out there...Wendy's is the #1 sponser in the fight against Anemia. Never frozen, Never Anemic.

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy to see a discussion like this happening on your blog, French. Wait until I tell you all the horrid things dairy and sugar do to a human's body (the two thinks I'm trying to wean myself off of). - sistaJ