04 April 2007

Fever


The following is my best Dan Shaughnessy impression, following the Sox opening day loss to the Kansas City Royals:


Ok Sox fans, who's given up on the season already? Come on! I know you're out there! Well, I'll tell you, you might just be in for a treat if you give up now because it looks like you might be able to save yourself some money, pain, suffering and loss of voice/bowels over the next 6 months or so. I wish I could be in your blossoming club, but I have to follow every game in an effort to relive every, painful day in the form of a blog entry. So up yours.


So much to say, so little that warrants being said...let's keep this one pretty short and sweet, shall we? Schilling is old, overweight and better suited as a Bush campaign supporter. Varitek's legs are no longer all muscly and aren't capable of hitting a baseball past the pitcher, our bullpen is a patch job and the meat of our order will fall victim to the bottom of our order because our 6-9 hitters are hardly even mediocre at this point. So you like the starting 5? Sorry, 4? Interesting, considering there's absolutely nothing that precedes these 4 guys that would make sense of anyone being optimistic about them. Masochists unite...2007 is the year of the mass suicide.


Nah, not really. I think we should wait until week 2 to make this distinction. For now, we get to enjoy a night off from Sox baseball to lament the loss that was last night, and let it stick in our collective craw just long enough to make us wonder about the Bruins. Ok...maybe that's a stretch.


I find it truly remarkable that I can go through so many emotions during and after a baseball game. The preceding passage was the third commentary I wrote on Tuesday morning/afternoon and to be honest, it's the only one that truly 'flowed from the pen', so-to-speak. It goes without saying that I won't give up until we've been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention or knocked out in the DS/CS/WS. But beyond the Sox, there are so many things that are making this season both exciting as well as intriguing. Some of them are, in no particular order:


1. The Bonds situation. It bothers me that this seemingly imminent record-breaking will happen this year and so many sports analysts have this everlasting hard-on about it. I guess the enhancement issue has been beaten to a bloody pulp but it still looms too large to let go of. I know that it doesn't change the fact that he is still in the books as having hit 734 home runs to date, but it's still impure. I guess we don't really know how many of the other guys in his company were taking supplements either, but when he hits #756, I'll be flipping from SportsCenter to anything else. On the brighter side, Pujols should be over 300 after this season, making him the youngest ever to reach that plateau. He's also the only other guy on that list who started his career at the same age as Henry Aaron. If Pujols plays until he's 43 like Aaron did and averages 30 HRs, he'll have hit 760 HRs. If he averages 35, his total will be 845 HRs. Good luck, Albert.


2. The AL East, as always, is stacked and ready for another season of very tight and very emotional baseball. Toronto is again legit and NY and Boston speak for themselves. The several questions surrounding the Yanks and Sox make the situation that much more interesting and maybe we'll see the Jays sneak in there under the radar. But alas, it will be the Sox and Yanks battling for the East and the possible pitching matchups from these two meeting are historic (let's say Clemens ends up a Yankee, too...for grins)


Clemens v. Schilling (Fenway turns back clock, drop all prices to 1950 prices in honor of Clemens and Schilling being elderly men...Sox sign Johnny Pesky to a one-day deal to DH)


Pettite v. Beckett (nothing to do with the matchup really, but Beckett will hit A-Rod to start the beanfest. Menino decides Boston should be known as Beantown from here on in.)


Wang v. Matsuzaka (Fenway changes menu to only sushi, tempura, fried rice and Sapporo. By the third inning, every toilet in the park is clogged, game is postponed, Torre declares season to be 'in the crapper'.)


3. The AL Central is the most thought-provoking division in baseball. It's been great to hear people like Gammons and Kurkjian predict this race because no one can commit to a leader. How can you? You hear things like, "well, Detroit has to be the favorite but Chicago will be certainly be in the mix and you can never count the Twins out because you just know Gardenhire/Mauer/Santana will make them win..." I gotta give the nod to Los Tigres. With the addition of Sheff, the pitching (assuming the Gambler will come back at some point) and Zumaya as their closer, they're a tall order on any day. It'll be fun to watch this one unfold.


4. I've been a legit Dodger fan since D-Lowe, Bill Mueller, Grady, Nomar, etc. went west. They had arguably the best off-season in baseball and they've built a deep rotation that should carry them back to the playoffs and into the World Series. Man, a Sox-Dodgers World Series would be IT.


2 comments:

BeachBum said...

I would love to see a Red Sox - Dodgers World Series only because my confidence would skyrocket every time I saw Grady sitting in the other team's dugout.

richlevine said...

To add to the end of the Wang/Dice-K game:

And by the sixth inning, everyone is completely starving again