March came in like a fairly aggressive lion with a small chip on his shoulder and it's leaving us as a lesser version of its former self. Or if you'd prefer, it's going out like a pretty bad ass lamb. You know, a lamb on a chopper with black, dread locked wool, shades and a butt hanging out of his mouth. My point is that the weather is still a heaping spoonful of shit and I've had enough.
First off, let me apologize for the abomination of a blog that drunk French posted this weekend. Truthfully, I had to go back in and edit some of the garbage that I put in there originally. I can't for the life of me remember what prompted me to alert the faithful that I love salt. I mean I do...I really love it. Hey Bowen, kudos to you for pointing out that I sounded a bit rattled in that last post. You've got a keen sense on you, pal.
Onto other things...I've got a serious problem with the Outback Steakhouse jingle. "Let's Go Outback Tonight" is the jam I'm referring to. Not "Let's Go TO Outback Tonight". Or "TO THE" Outback. The jingle suggests that we should all go out back tonight and that life will still be here tomorrow. I don't see how they can make that claim though, considering the fact that if the average patron consumes part of a Bloomin' Onion, a good portion of those who "Go Outback Tonight" might indeed develop a serious heart condition. Check it out: 2310 calories and 134g of fat in that bitch. And that's before you chow down on a Caesar salad, jackaroo chips, a bonzer Ribeye and probably several Oil Cans worth of Foster's. Outback: Australian for coronary.
The funny thing about the Outback is how hard they try to be Aussie. No, I'm not a French Aussie but I was friendly with a group of Aussie exchanges during my senior year at UMass and they had never heard of this place. I told them about it and of the ridiculous sayings they used on the menu and obviously they demanded that we go there. And we did. And I've never seen people laugh as hard as they did when they got a load of Outback Steakhouse. Apparently the word 'bonzer' isn't really used. They also found it quite amusing that the walls were well adorned with boomerangs. It's funny how over-the-top a place like the Outback can really be, but at the same, how ridiculous it all appears to be to an actual Australian. Now, any Mexicans out there that would care to accompany me to On The Border to detect authenticity?
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9 comments:
I will go with you to Zaftigs
Is that where you went with Jake and his missus Saturday night??? Sa mere et moi have sworn off of Outback because they use too much SALT and other seasonings on their steaks. All I can say is "if you serve great steaks, you don't have to screw them up with all kinds of seasonings." I can do a better job with beef, and I won't try to jam a freakin' Bloomin' Onion down yer gullet while doing it. And, I don't even own a boomerang, and nowhere in my vocabulary will you hear the work "bonzer". I do like Foster's, though. That's about the only thing I can say I enjoy about Outback - Foster's on tap in an ice-cold mug. AAAHHHHH! Man, that's refreshing. Especially after eating one of their "salt-cured" steaks.
Congrats on another blog entry, though. Seems as if you now have "blogarrhea"! Maybe it's the SALT!
Not to put a damper on my keen powers of observation, but I thought the rattled feeling came from the new job and the traveling aspect of it. It's tough on any couple when one is traveling a lot, esp when you two spend so much time together. And by 'so much' I basically mean ALL YOUR TIME!
But no worries, I have a lot of ideas on how we can spend your free time this summer. I'll give you a hint, it involves beer, Boston, and many many different pubs.
In fact, we should hit a bar every weekend, then have a blog duel the next day about what transpired. Odds are good that the memories will differ if we remember things at all.
Sometimes, my genius scares even me.
I like where Bowen's head is at right now.
I don't.
Sounds pretty tight to me. Sorry son pere.
French's head is on pretty tight at this point in his life. He doesn't need to be doing the bar scene on the weekends while his "S.O." is traveling. Hey, worse comes to worse, he can always spend the weekends at home watching the SOX with moi! As for the blog duels on the morning after, I refer you back to today's entry and how that had to be edited after being written while "out of it".
No, a real friend would respect the healthy life-style French has taken up over the last year, year and a half, and suggest joining him at the Yoga class, or something like that - no drinking involved - only water!
ONLY WATER!!!???
That amounts to blasphemy!! How dare you!!
Everyone needs to calm down. French knows that I'm a married dude with two kids and any free time is strictly regulated.
And, sorry, son pere, but I ain't doing yoga with him unless he can promise there will be lots of hot chicks in that class and we stay near the back of the room.
Even then, beer would be required at some point.
OK, beachbum! You can have the beer after spending an hour in the back of a Yoga class full of "hot chicks", but only AFTER your COLD SHOWER! Down boy!
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