L.A. a la French

I just got back from LA and I've decided to write a very bare-bones 'French's Guide to Los Angeles' so that any of you can take advantage of some of the things that I have been able to over the course of my last two visits. Before I begin, let me point out yet again that it is a HORRIBLE idea to work after taking a red-eye from anywhere. HORRIBLE.

For the first time on two visits, La and I took the walk down the boardwalk past Muscle Beach and let me say that it's no different that Coney Island or the Salem Willows as far as cheesy, greasy fun. We got some very average soft serve from, of all things, a sushi place...I guess Asians out there are not familiar with the 'swirl' cone...it's a mix cone...there's fried dough a-plenty, corny t-shirts on every corner and, oh yeah, a gym in the middle of the beach with some of the world's biggest muscle heads. Hmm...sounds a little like Route One in Saugus on a summer day, doesn't it? It's not that impressive, trust me. You're better off walking the beaches of Malibu and eating at some of the beach-bound cafes like Paradise Cove. Less muscles (more mussels), less cheesiness and more natural scenery.

Eating can be a real challenge out there, as it can be in any new city. From what I've sampled, I have found that the best food exists in the smaller, lesser-known places that you might not happen upon unless you know someone. I'd say avoid chains, unless it's Chipotle or In 'N' Out Burger. I had Chipotle for the first time yesterday and it's really good. Pretty cheap, fast and fresh. And yes, better than Qdoba. I think it was Schneweis who commented on the brash line workers at Chipotle, and he was right. Know what you're ordering before you enter their line because they'll stress you the fuck out if you let them. You've been warned. There is also a ton of great sushi out there, as you may have imagined. Much of it overpriced if you're used some Boston places...if you want a taste of LA sushi prices, go to Douzo in Boston. Otherwise, avoid some of the trendy places out there. A little place in Santa Monica called Noma is very good and affordable.

For bars, there's really only one place you'll ever want to go, especially if you're a sports fan from Boston. There's a place called Sonny McLean's (http://www.sonnymcleans.com/) in Santa Monica and I swear to you, it has the feel and look of something like a cross between the Fours and Sully's Tap. The menu is almost identical to that of the Fours and pretty much every seat in the bar is a prime location to watch the Sox. La and I arrived in LA on last Friday afternoon and proceeded right to Sonny's to watch the game and eat...it was my first game experience there but overall, my 2nd visit. It was so weird...everyone clapped when the Sox did something worth clapping about and not a soul in the place was not a Sox fan. I was really confused as to where I was, but I was thrilled to be there. You absolutely have to go if you're out that way at some point. Ask for Mike behind the bar...he's from Hingham.

I'm guessing that most East Coast folk prefer Dunkin' Donuts coffee since DD is an institution out this way. Out there, no DD. I know, I'm sorry to have to break that news. Out there, it's Coffee Bean. Personally, I wish we had them out here because the coffee drinks are much better and it's just a nice place to get all sorts of stuff. You'll find Starbucks adjacent to pretty much every Coffee Bean, but don't be swayed. Coffee Bean is better and I think a little cheaper. I recommend their ice-blended coffee drinks.

I think that's just about gonna have to do it for my Guide to LA. I'll have more material after my next visit in about 4 months. Onto the thoughts of the day so far:

Sometimes I wonder how people would feel about me here at work if I said what I was thinking at all times. Tom, this excludes you because you might very well be the only one here who actually knows what I am thinking most of the time because you read this. Either way, I'm sure you can relate.

Just a few minutes ago, I was entering the cafeteria to get a drink and I held the door for a guy who was exiting as I was coming in. I held it for a good 10 seconds, as he wasn't quite at the door when I walked in. Regardless, this asshole walks up to the double doors and proceeds to use the OTHER door; or, the one that I wasn't holding. As he walked through, I bit my tongue. What I wanted to say was not appropriate, so all I could muster was "yeah, that makes sense." He didn't flinch, which made me angrier. In hindsight, i should have gone with my instincts and thrown him up against the wall. "Listen, jabroni. If I hold the door for you, you say thank you and walk through it. Got me?" He probably would have knifed me, though. IT guys are tapped.

I got a call from customer service not long ago that made no sense. The woman on the other end made some sort of senseless remark about a phone call she had received and then told me to disregard her call. She ended by saying she was just a little hazy and apologized. Hey, here’s a tip. Stop getting high before work, genius. It just happens to be known that this particular lady is a stoner...a 60 year-old stoner...and she’s always in the clouds. I have a much more difficult time with her on my bad days because most of the time, she’s really nice and happy. Dumb as rocks, yes. But pleasant nonetheless.

I’ve commented on people from work a lot in the past and truthfully, I like many of the people I work with. It’s the job that sucks. I probably shouldn't be writing blogs as such on my workstation here, or giving the web address to this blog to my co-workers, but what am I going to do? What’s done is done. (non-sequitor) If I could somehow figure out a way to eliminate the bad starts to days, I’d probably be a lot better off. So much of my day is affected by those 25 minutes between waking up and walking out the door...like this morning, nothing went my way. I trimmed my sideburns with a Mach 3 (big mistake) and it took forever. My hair insisted upon leaving me looking like Beetle Bailey and it started raining on my walk to the car. I forgot my breakfast bar and noodles for lunch...the list goes on. You know, just having typed all that, I am realizing that I’m a little on the whiny side this morning and thus, pissing myself off. I’m done.