Hmm, letter and or number sponsorship is something that Sesame Street popularized a long time ago. Well, I guess popularized isn't the right way to put it since it didn't exactly catch on and become a common thing elsewhere. One previous post has been brought to you by the letter 'E' and this particular entry will be brought to you by the number '38'.
***to save those non-sports fans some time and reading effort, this blog will be nearly entirely about sports...TAKE HEED***
This is sort of a magical number right about now, and I'm going to show you why. I'll show you the many sides, the many angles and maniacal nature of the inner workings of my brain when it comes to numbers. In truth, I haven't been inspired to write anything about numbers in quite some time but I thought this was a fitting time to bring it on back...just in case you've lost that number-lovin' feeling...whoa-oh that number-lovin' feeling. Righteous, bro.
The Patriots are averaging a whopping 38 points per game this season. I'm wondering if maybe Bill Belichick is trying to prove something here. What with the recent tomfoolery, wouldn't it be kind of interesting if the Patriots decided to impose their will on teams to the tune of 38 points per game exactly? You know, just to show that they can score as many points as they want, at will, on any opponent in any game. It would be fantastic, and it would put them over the 600 mark for total points in a season. Moss is on pace to put up about 27 TDs, and Brady's pace would give him 53 TDs and 6 INTs at season's end. The funny thing about that is, I don't even think it's that far-fetched. That's how good this offense is and that's how good Brady can be with this cast. None of us an fans have had a chance to see what Brady's potential is and now we do. Over the past 5 years or so, the comparisons to Peyton Manning have not been fair because the players that surround the two QBs have been so grossly dissimilar. Well, not anymore and Brady looks unbeatable back there. Tom Brady is better than Manning. He always has been and FINALLY the proof is in this current batch of insanely good pudding...moss flavored, of course.
Guess who turns 38 next month? Brett Favre, who, at last check, was rated just behind Brady, Manning and Romo as the top QBs. I don't see how anyone can't love this guy and how he plays the game. Watching old #4 do what he does makes me wish I was a Packer fan, even if just for a season...even if just for a game at Lambeau. Favre plays the game with the intensity of a crazy man, yet the spirit of a child. What other quarterback picks up his receiver after a touchdown pass and spins him around like a husband might do to his wife on their wedding day? Maybe that's a bit of stretch as an analogy, but you get my drift. It's such a pleasure to watch Favre play the game and I truly hope he comes back for another season after this one.
Does anyone remember who Eric Gagne was before he came to Boston? He was a rejuvenated reliever with a 2.14 ERA and the confidence of Jack Palance. He was also #38. Now, he's a self-doubting mess of a man with an ERA about 2/3 of a mile north of shitsville. Hey Schilling, give him his number back. It's clearly not doing much for you anymore, so give it up. I really think that it's playing on his psyche. As I've said before, a man without his number is like a clown without funny nose. Actually, it's nothing like that because clowns can be perfectly effective without the red nose. It's more like the Patriots without their cheat films...no, that's not good either. How about, it's like Jenna Jamison without a vagina? Does that work? DING DING DING! We have a winner. Eric Gagne without his #38 is like Jenna Jamison sans vagina...totally ineffective.
There's just something special about 38 these days. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to clean my .38 special.+
Oh, almost forgot. My nephew Aaron turned 4 today (the 25th...this post took me a day or two to finish). Everyone wish him a happy birthday.
7 comments:
Good column today! Lest we forget, the number 38D works well, also. BTW, who in hell is this Jamison broad?
Did you call your nephew to wish him a Happy Birthday? You should, you know.
38 also happens to be the amount of times I giggled during the first half of the Eagles/Lions game on Sunday, as I watched Roy Williams, Brian Westbrook, and my new main man Jon Kitna roll up roughly a billion fantasy points.
Happy birthday, Aaron.
I heard that this Jenna Jamison girl had a particular talent with her mouth. Is that not correct? If this is true then she really doesn't need the vagina to be effective. Thus rendering your argument moot.
No, I'm not drunk right now.
yet another arrogant Pets fan. (then again, are there any other kind?)
Ahh yes, the typical Patfan hater appears, yet again! As seems to be the trend, this one can be classified under 'Moron', too.
"Pets fans" he says...you're right, I am a fan of pets; dogs in particular. You imbecile. Nice blog name, too. As anyone with half of a brain knows, Tom Brady does not lick balls. In fact, I believe he's currently licking the genitalia of a one Gisele...perhaps you've heard of her. DIPSHIT.
Don't even acknowledge "TBLB" by commenting on his/her/its' obvious jealousy of the PATS. After all, any NFL fan who is tuned in knows that the PATS are far and away THE BEST TEAM in the NFL this year, hands down!! Envy is a powerful motivator, eh TBLB?!? FUKENEH!
Look at son pere really getting after it. Jenna Jameson is one of the most talented actresses to ever grace the big screen (or your computer screen). Take away what you will, she will still get the job done. Favre was sitting in the free agent pool of my fantasy league until I made him my starter. Hi hi have some points. I don't see the need to record signals when you are dominating the league and may have one of the best teams ever fielded. I hate you and all of them, but I damn well respect Brady. Have always loved Moss. Still have his Vikings jersey from Kleins. Sack.
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