Gator Hater

I've been thinking a lot lately...about why I sometimes have these really long processes of thought with a consistent theme, and why sometimes I have several hundred thought strands that never materialize into anything more than a line or two, maybe a quip and then a question like "ever thought about that?" or "know what I mean?" To tell you the truth, I annoy myself sometimes because of these inconsistencies but there's really nothing I can do about it. Look, you're brain's either in one frame of mind or another and to fuck if I can really send it in certain directions.

That being said, I'm having another one of those really scatter-brained days but I have also found that some of my best ideas come out of these hodgepodges. That reminds me...anyone seen that Honda Element ad with the platypus who uses the word hodgepodge? The Element ads are very funny. Thus, I have begun a new amalgam of random thoughts. Ergo...

I fucking love the Slowsky's. Ipso facto, I would love to be writing for Comcast but only the Slowsky's commercials. You know the one where they're in Hawaii and the wife is talking...you can see Bill Slowsky start to nod off and then all of a sudden he breaks into a full snore. It gets me every time. But there just aren't enough clever, funny commercials on anymore. The Southwest 'Wanna Get Away' campaign has legs but I feel they could be so much more edgy and creative. How about this: a skinny white kid is walking through an all-black neighborhood. As he passes a huge family cookout (unknowingly) he's conversing about jelly beans with his girlfriend. You hear her talking about how she only likes the black ones and the dude yells "Oh, I hate the blacks!" He then looks up and notices where is and everyone is glaring at him...'Wanna Get Away?'

My boy B sent around another blog link (http://lioninoil.blogspot.com/2007/03/this-just-in-joakim-noah-is-douche.html ) this morning about Joakim Noah, and I was going to write about this yesterday and just kind of spazzed the idea. Anyway, nice work B. If you saw Noah's dance following the SEC Championship game, you know what we're all talking about here. He did that 'whipping the bull' dance-thing and then the 'slapping the ass' dance-thing on the court, post-game, as if they'd won the National Championship. I'm not even sure he acted with such abandon last year when they actually did win the National Title, but as Lion In Oil pointed out, Noah needs to act like he's been there before, not like a walk-on freshman who hasn't played more than a minute all season that somehow had to play in this game and ended up winning it for them in OT at the buzzer. I mean, I'm all for Noah making an ass out of himself because I despise him as a person. I don't know where he gets off doing that little 'shame on you' thing during gameplay, but dude, you're not Mutombo. You're not even that good this year, as you've underachieved and underproduced all season. Statistically he was a better player last season and his stock has gone down for the NBA Draft from last year. I'm not saying I hope he fails in life or anything, but he should be a little more humble and mature this season.

Well, last night was the first meeting between the Sox and Yanks this season...all be it Spring Training and such. But here's a highlight worth making note of: JD Drew hit his first HR of the Spring in the game...one that the Sox won, 7-5. Again, Spring Training and blah blah blah, but hey...if you're gonna hit HR's, hit them against the Yankees, would you JD? Seriously, I was thinking about his spot the other day and what it must be like to hit 5th in an order that features the best 3-4 combination in the history of baseball (arguably, I know). He's gotta be the luckiest man alive, especially when you look at the production from that spot last year...it's pretty non-existent. The opportunity for him to shut people up and have a MONSTER year is so large...and let's not forget that JD Drew is still a really good ballplayer behind all the criticism and scoffing. He could very well make or break our team this season...and that's a lot of pressure for a new guy in Boston. And that could suck.