It's Cool, Daddy.

Can someone explain this one to me: the mid-size, family sedan with the fin on the back. At what point did anyone think it was a good idea to purchase a sensible, reliable car like the Ford Taurus (tongue-in-cheek as I choke out the word reliable) and then stick a fin on the back? It looks so ridiculous. I suppose one might want to have a fin on the back of his or her sensible sedan to offer the look of a more sporty vehicle. Perhaps the look of something fast is on their agenda. News flash: you're not fooling anybody, folks. Regardless of fin, it's still a family sedan. I'm sure you didn't want to purchase that mini-van in an effort to remain somewhat cool in the eyes of your teen aged daughter's friends, but they're not morons (I'm making this assumption for argument's sake, because chances are, more than half of them indeed are morons). It's not cool.

This is a good segway into another topic of interest to me as of late, and that is the difference between what actually IS cool and what others simply PERCEIVE to be cool. I know that different social layers vary greatly in their judgements of cool, but how is it that every time an older person tries to ignore the age gap and diversify his coolness, he grossly misunderstands what actually is considered cool? I'll admit that if you supplanted my existence into that of a senior class of some local high school, I'd probably get the shit beat out of me within twenty minutes of arriving. I wouldn't be able to use prior knowledge of cool from my days in high school because nothing was cool amongst a group of anti-establishment misanthropes. I wouldn't know where to begin. But I feel like every father who tries to pretend he knows what cool is in front of his kids and their friends falls desperately short of the mark every time.

Most of my generation has seen 'Billy Madison' a million times and could watch it again and again without growing tired of it. Remember that scene where he returns to high school and on the first day, he rolls up in a Firebird or something similar, blasting an 80's tune and wearing a denim jacket with the collar up? I'm pretty sure he's wearing an REO Speedwagon t-shirt as well. Later on, he tells the present day losers that he used to rule the school, suggesting that he should still be the cool guy. In reality, he's more of a loser than anyone else there but he has no sense of reality whatsoever. And I think this is kind of what happens to fathers and parents in general when they try and relate to their kids. No matter what, what's cool to you will never be cool to your adolescent children, even if you mimic everything they do. Once they see that you're doing the same things, it's no longer cool. And trust me, your daughter's best friend won't think more of you because your Pontiac has a fin on the back.

Currently, here are a few things that I think are cool (maybe the wrong word; these things are articles that I favor, more than anything): anything with a hood, mesh shorts, long hair, Kanye West's Late Registration, red wine and probably the one thing that will never, ever, ever waiver on my scale of coolness, the Sox.

What's amazing to me is how often I mix several or all of these things into one occasion. I know there have been countless times that I've walked to the market to get wine while wearing something hooded, sporting mesh shorts, listening to Kanye and then going home or to La's to watch the Sox. Everything is supposedly ok in moderation, but the things that you love and that comfort you are ok anytime and in mass quantities. But how concerned are you with what's cool as of right now? Right now as in at this very moment in time? Or as in at this point in your life? I can tell you that right at this second, cool represents the temperature in my cubicle as I write. That's about the extent of what's cool around here. On a broader scale, I don't think I have the slightest idea of cool in the outside world. But isn't it all relative? Cool to you probably isn't cool to me, so who gives a shit. I just got to thinking last night after I parked my Saturn on the street in downtown Boston and walked through a group of teens on the way to La's. They all looked like they could be the cool kids but I'm from the school of thought that believes social differences are more prevalent in the television shows we watch than they really are in our school systems. Jimmy's a jock but his best friend is the top math student who he grew up with and his girlfriend acts in all the school plays. I just don't believe that all too many kids are shunned from social groups and gatherings because they're thought of as 'uncool'.

This I KNOW to be cool: Wily Mo hitting a granny in the top of the 8th against the O's closer to wipe away the 2-1 deficit and the potential first loss of the season for JB. I have to say that as soon as Sam Perlozzo brought in Chris Ray, I verbally expressed my belief that he'd regret that decision. Asking anyone to get five outs to close out a 1-run game is extremely difficult. Further, Lowell was on a tear heading into his at-bat against Ray, Varitek has been hot (even with his multitude of K's lately) and Wily Mo was 2-for-4 lifetime against Ray. I appreciate the faith in your closer Sam, but it wasn't his night. The Sox have been coming from behind the whole month and one run to them may as well be a 3-run lead. Sure enough, a double, an intentional walk and a 430' bomb later, it actually was a 3-run lead. And that's pretty fucking cool.

Also cool: it's Friday. Here's wishing you a good Friday morning...and in case I don't write a blog this afternoon and this evening, good afternoon, good evening and good night.