Salut, Lundi.

I'll start this week's blogging adventure with an update on my arch-rival/favorite person under 4' tall...my nephew Aaron. If you've kept up with this blog at all, you'd know that he has somewhat of a master key to the world of things that are fun. He remains my arch-rival because within that world exists my girlfriend and I know she'd side with him over me in a heartbeat. And I can't blame her because he is pretty convincing. Here's how he fared on Easter Sunday: he scored some candy, a few stuffed animals, a gardening kit complete with a shovel, a rake and a watering can, a bunch of carrots for his personal consumption (real carrots and he was extremely happy about it...point: his parents), several books, several games and more hugs than the cast of the Departed at the Oscars. He barely had to eat dinner but engorged himself in a giant bowl of ice cream, he got to play games all day, copped more consequence-free feels on Lauren than I could ever hope to and to top it all off, he had the ultimate ruling on when we could all finally take a post-meal snooze. King Soloman never had it this good. Keep it up, Big A.

Onto more pressing matters...

I've been enjoying hearing various synopses of baseball's first full week of action and pretty much as always, nothing is really going as planned. But the first week is really funny in a lot of ways. It's kind of like bizarro league baseball...to me, anyway. I really enjoyed looking at the AL East standings this morning and finding the D-Rays in first. Imagine that! And look, there's the Yankees, waaaaaay down in third or fourth or something. I hear Steinbrenner's considering firing Torre and making A-Rod a player-manager. Imagine...A-Rod moves himself back to short, throws Jeter in right and refuses to put anyone at third, citing that he has the range of three Jeters combined. Also, he hits leadoff, third, fourth and fifth.

I've gotta get this off my chest...I hate A-Rod's face. I know you all saw it when he came to home plate following his walkoff grandslam against the O's this weekend. Is it just me, or did it kind of appear as if no one really wanted to show much excitement about his game-winner? Yeah, they crowded the plate but it wasn't the same as an Ortiz moment, or any of the Red Sox, for that matter. I don't know, but he was everybody's MVP in the preseason and he's played like it over the first week. For the moment, he's bought himself a reprieve from the Yankee faithful but that's not going to last too long. Just a head's up to A-Rod: 4/20/07 is quickly approaching.

Since this whole issue of performance enhancing drugs is omnipresent in sports right now, I"m wondering when we're going to see an athlete have an absolute 'roid-rage moment and do something inexplicably violent. Maybe Bonds charges the mound after getting beaned in the head for the third time in a game and actually rips off the pitcher's head. Let me ask you, if he were to do this, does he get into the Hall of Fame? I'd love to see Gary Matthews Jr. run through an outfield wall made of brick or something. I wonder if guys like Bonds, Sosa, McGwire, Sheffield and Giambi use(d) heavier bats due to their brutish strength from the 'roids. I also wonder if any of their wives/girlfriends took issue with their drug use. Perhaps in the 60 Minutes interview with Bonds after his retirement, he'll come clean about it and say the hardest part was having to let his wife bang some other dude because he penis became so pathetically small. "Yeah, it hurt when she decided that was the route she was gonna take. The fact that it was Hank Aaron was just over the top, though." Interestingly enough, Bonds could have a chance to break Aaron's record on the 20th of July this season against Milwaukee and in Milwaukee. On July 20th, 1976, Hank Aaron hit his 755th and final homerun of his career...in Milwaukee.

Somehow I lost track of my original idea here, which was discussing the first week of the season and where things stand at this point in time. What matters is this: the Sox open at Fenway on Tuesday, Dice throws his first game in front of the faithful on Wednesday and I'll make my first appearance at the park on Thursday. It's too cold for baseball, but who gives a shit (ask me this on Friday morning...it's supposed to snow here Thursday night around gametime). I'd say just given the fact that we can all watch baseball for the next 6 months is reason enough to celebrate.