Ohio is awful. It couldn’t decide whether it wanted to be a state with three fairly decent sized and fairly cool cities or a desolate range of partially tended farmland. So we were left with a place that offers three kinda crappy, not-so-cool cities and a desolate range of partially tended farmland. It just has nothing to offer as far as I’m concerned, but what do I know? They do have Cedar Point which I’ve heard is the best place to ride a roller coaster in the world. In a past life, that would have been good enough for me to crown Ohio as the most beautiful part of this country.
Onto Chicago, which now stands as my favorite city in this country that I have visited. Sorry Boston, but there’s something about Chicago that exudes a coolness that other cities don’t seem to offer. It’s part New York, part Boston and part San Francisco; all three of those in themselves are wonderful places but take the best parts of them all and combine them into one and you get Chicago. It has the charm of a small city, the look and occasional feel of a big city and the waterfront of a coastal city. We arrived late in the afternoon to check into the Intercontinental hotel on Michigan Avenue. I drove by it the first time and as a result, we didn’t make it back to the hotel for another 20 minutes.
I could have let the parking rate for the hotel really chap my ass ($49 per night) but I let it roll off. My mindset the whole time on this trip was one of careful apathy when talking about practicality. You may think that the Intercon is anything but practical, but Hotwire makes pretty much any hotel a one star joint in price. It’s the way to travel, especially when you’re booking for the next day and theretofore by the skin of your teeth. I digress…our room was sweet, the view was cool (down Michigan Ave from the 22nd floor) and the location was perfect for what we needed. After all, when you’re in a city for one night and you want to be able to get the feel of it in a short period of time, you need to be centralized and within a few walking minutes of everything that interests you. For us, that was Nordstrom, the Chicago river and Gino’s East.
By the time we got out of the hotel room, it was time to eat. We briefly browsed the sales tables on Nordstrom and off we went to Gino’s per the suggestion of Neal, Lauren’s stepdad. Being from Chicago, he was our virtual tour guide for this trip. He didn’t fail us. Gino’s was great. We shared a deep dish pie with spinach and garlic, an order of buffalo wings and a pitcher of Bud Light. Sure, we eliminated the prospect of making out later on that night, but this wasn’t about the romance of Chicago. It was about the food and the city itself. The wings were, interestingly enough, better than the ones we had in Buffalo. And the pie was glorious. Lauren had to put half of the cheese aside in order to avoid cheese overload and certainly a bout of constipation. Rightfully so, because there was enough cheese on that fucker to impress Pizza the Hut.
I have to comment on our waiter from Gino's. His name was 'DJ', but that was short for something like Djovanovic Jokovic. Or something blatantly Russian. He was pretty unattentive, spoke poor English and forgot to put in out order for free garlic sticks (we were given a coupon by the concierge at the hotel for a free appetizer of Gino's choice). His response to me when I asked about the sticks was as follows:
Me: Are we getting those garlic sticks?
Russian DJ: Garleek Steeks...ooohhhhh...vun second.
(Russian DJ scurries away, returns in two minutes)
I check on steeks, keechun messed up. Sorry bout dat. You want me put in order agayne?
Me: No, it's ok.
He told us to come back with the coupon another time and use it then. We were ok with this suggestion, full well knowing that it might be years before we're back in Chicago. And we weren't mad at Russian DJ. In fact, Lauren and I both agreed that we'd have blamed the kitchen as well, had we forgotten to put in an order of garleek steeks.
Post dinner, we circled a few blocks and eventually walked in the direction of a nifty outdoor park that had an art showcase going on at the time. After this, we took some more pictures by the riverfront and decided to retire for the night. We would rise early the next morning, grab some breakfast burritos from a totally random place (really, really good) and then it was off to Descartes Coffee to try and get free Wifi with which to book our next hotel. Unsuccessful. And their coffee wasn't quite as superb as I had imagined in my daydream about Descartes Coffee. So again we fell into a Starbucks, had good coffee and bought some internet time with which we'd book our hotel in Kansas City...land of Hammen and Jayhawks and a SWEET Sonic drive thru. Not that we actually went, but the thing looked really tight from the street.
Stay tuned for Stage Three: Kansas City, MO/Lawrence, KS
6 comments:
I agree about Chicago. Great city! Have stayed there many times and loved the recreation part of it. The work part pretty much blew, but that was due to the person I was working with and not the actual place.
PJ Clarke's - down by Navy Pier - has the best goddamn mini cheeseburgers I've ever tasted.
Hahaha, beachbum, for what I was going to write here, I could pretty much cut and paste your comment. Except I would take out the work part, since I've never been there for work, and replace "PJ Clarke's" with "Billy Goat Tavern." And I guess they aren't mini cheeseburgers there. But they are the best goddamn cheeseburgers I've ever tasted.
Billy Goat Tavern is officially on my list for my next visit.
the billy goat is amazing, plus their beer prices aren't too bad.
I'm glad to find someone else who isn't a fan of ohio. I've been there once and have no desire to return. I got lost while I was there, the people give terrible directions, and the streets are poorly lit. Too bad Ohio doesn't have a suggestion box. Maybe I was just in the wrong area.
As far as I can tell, there is no right area in Ohio.
Here's my Ohio story which I meant to include in my initial comment. When driving to Chicago one year we passed through Ohio at midnight or so. I fell asleep while my buddy drove. When I woke I asked where we were.
He told me we just got out of Ohio. I asked 'Really? What did I miss?' He paused, thought for a few seconds and finally said, 'Not a fucking thing'.
I went back to sleep.
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