2008 hasn't exactly been the year of consistent bloggery for me. I haven't lost the inspiration but I have sort of lost my closeability. I liken myself to Bronson Arroyo in a Red Sox uniform...a guy who couls start off strong and appear like he could take it home, only to lose all momentum and come to a fizzling end halfway through his outing. I've been writing a lot of partial blogs and I never get back to finishing them...they are now in blog purgatory with access only to my eyes and Lauren's eyes. Sorry, but one of the only perks of living with me is getting to read my half assed, half done blogs. The other perks are negotiable in terms of actually being perks.
I'm going to ramble now.
I stumbled upon a new urinal phenomenom at the Oceanaire in Boston...ice in the urinal. It makes peeing both competitive as well as satisfysing. Go ahead and fill up a urinal with ice and see how many cubes you can melt down. if you have crushed ice, do the same but watch pockets of ice turn yellow. It's insanity!
If I tell you there's a man out there who can eat four donuts in a day, will you laugh at me? If I tell you that this same man will eat one of said donuts in the morning, be it a coconut donut, and then eat the coconut shavings off of his sweater later in the day as a snack, will you say 'boloney'? If I tell you there's a man out there who has managed to outfit himself in garb solely from the shelves and bins of Costco, will you call my bluff? Well my friends, I've now told you of the one and only Neal Goldstein...a man who never met a donut he didn't like. Keep your eyes peeled for a man about 6'2 with a jelly stain on his multi-colored sweater.
You know what's really scary? When you're walking the streets of Manhattan at night and a strange man barks at your girlfriend at point blank range. Like this: "Roof, roof ROOF." It's fucking scary, man. My question is, was he implying that she's a dog? Because that's just a crock of shit and if you've met her you'd agree. Perhaps he was implying that he wanted to hump her leg.
I think that's about all for today, but I am vowing that March will be a productive month for in terms of bloggery. I shall blog like I have in the past and I shall write of all things great and small. Future posts are sure to reflect upon the following topics: Cassell to the C's, the Sox, fingernails, urinals, some big event, jibberish.
4 comments:
"When you're walking the streets of Manhattan at night and a strange man barks at your girlfriend at point blank range"
That's not scary, it's just another day in Manhattan.
You think that guy ever gets women with that line?
When were you guys in NYC? I spoke to Neal today and he is pissed. Is that the same Neal from Family Guy with the red hair? Take it easy on my jewish brethren. So you think CP3 or Kobe will win MVP over your boy KG? You know of any good remedies for breaking the nail biting habit? I have been trying to quit for a while now and I can't. Maybe you could add an advice column section to your blog. Look how clean me lungs are!
Are you sure it wasn't DMX you saw in Manhattan?
Four donuts in a day?? Geez, how much does this guy weigh? Wait a minute! You said "Neal Goldstein" - would that be the same Goldstein as in Cindy??
Please, whatever you do, do not bring him to the North Shore. If he ever discovers Ziggy's Donuts I fear he will be a "more than 4 donuts a day" guy, and that's just wrong! I have yet to meet anyone who can eat just one of Ziggy's sweet, delectable offerings. His glazed donuts are to die for, and his jelly sticks are "out of this world" delicious!
I have had to swear off of them because, as I said above, you can't eat just one!
To Ponch: Try doing what the arabs in the Middle East do - wipe your ass with your fingers. That'll cure you of biting your nails, real quick!!
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