Lies...ALL LIES!

I lied. I promised I would make a more concerted effort to be faithful to the French Faithful in this month of March and I have failed miserably. I continue to write partial blogs that never amount to anything more than a brief peep of chit chat and then suddenly my brain goes "oh fuck...my bad...totally forgot what I was going to say..." I got no other excuse. But in the span of two days, I've received comments from my brother Mike and Dunny about the lack of posting lately. And when Krechmer tells me it's been a while since I've blogged, I know that I have to get back on le horse and bang out a post...no matter how much it drags on and on and on about schtuff. Gimme a schtickle of fluoride.

I love/hate March. I hate it because it's the purgatory that exists between Winter and Spring and it can never make up its about which way it's leaning. This morning it was bone-chillingly cold yet this afternoon, it's a pleasant 45° and being outside kind of makes me feel like being alive again. What I love about it is this lack of belief that exists in those who spend a good portion of their commute outdoors.

The way I see it, there are three different kinds of people out there in the purgatory:

1) Winterlings

These people, no matter what the forecast or the temperature when they walk out the door in the morning, bundle up like it's Christmas in the North Pole and they don't let it go until about May. And I can't blame them because 50% of the time, mother nature rears back and pukes up a giant storm in the middle of fucking April, debilitating the city for a few days. The Winterlings will happily sweat like Frank Purdue at a PETA convention until it's beyond every fathomable doubt that it's Spring.

2) 'Tweeners

These indecisive hopefuls can't decide from one morning to the next what the hell season it is, so they kind of do a little of both in terms of dressing. For instance, I might see this one dude in the morning with flip flops and wool hat, or a woman in a mini skirt sans leggings but a massive wool scarf all but cutting off her circulation. They're caught in this purgatory like none other and you can almost feel their morning struggles in front of the closet based on their outfits. Listen, just go one way or the other. Trust me. And remember, you can always shed layers...but you can't add once you're out that door.

3) Springlings

I envy these people as they continually display the hope of Spring and Summer on their morning walk to work. Light jackets, pastels, iced drinks...you name it, they're supporting warm weather regardless of how nippy it might be on a given day. But this is one of those conditions that exists only in New England, where most people yearn so deeply for the warmer months that they start to go a little loopy and thus, dress like idiots.

There, I actually managed to get something fairly complete into a blog. It only took me two weeks.