I'd be a real turkey if I didn't write something in honor of the holiday tomorrow, wherein we'll give thanks for stuff and probably eat way too much and ultimately end up feeling like shit for a day or two. But I don't want this post to have a foul tone, so I need to brighten it up a little. I had a few things planned out for this one, but it's looking more and more like I'm going to have to wing it.
T - is for thanks. Give thanks tomorrow. Maybe you're thankful for a World Series Champ, an undefeated football team and the best team in the NBA. Or maybe you live in South Dakota, and you're thankful for...for...I don't know, the Badlands?
H - is for hope. Without hope, what do we have? Well actually, without hope and money what do we have? Without hope, money and sex. Those three things. Without those, what do we have?
A - is for appetite. Bring yours to the table tomorrow and join the average American in consuming 3000+ calories in one sitting. Better dig up those elastic waistband chinos.
N - is for nice. Be nice to those who prepared the food that you'll consume tomorrow. Don't complain about not getting a wing, or a drumstick, or that there's a small, curly hair in the jello mold. Just eat, thank the cooks and shut up.
K - is for knowledge. Know that there are three football games tomorrow, and one is on the NFL network which you won't be able to watch. Unless of course, you have the NFL network. Also know that the only game worth watching is the Green Bay - Detroit game, if for no other reason than the throwback uniforms.
S - is for a lot of things. I have found that the letter 'S' is well represented among the table items at Thanksgiving. Squash, stuffing, string beans, salad, sweet potatoes, sauce (as in cranberry) and many more, depending on what weird shit you have on your table tomorrow. S is also for stupid, as in don't be. Save room for dessert and elect not to have that third re-stuffed potato. Let your father have it because you're at his house and if anyone needs to have the opportunity to use the bathroom at any given time, it's him.
I hope you all have a wonderfully enjoyable and laughter-filled Thanksgiving tomorrow. Just think...when you return to work on Monday, there will be less than a month left until Christmas.
2 comments:
I'm thankful for you Bro, because you're witty and handsome. Beyond that, you're a tiger in the boardroom, a real tiger. They'll be no Gobbler sandwiches made out of T-day leftovers from the Gilbert house for you this year. Here's to you Choadster, happy Thanksgiving!
Bergman-
Here's what I'm not thankful for, you all of a sudden trying in fantasy football when you are the last place team in the division and on a 6 game losing streak! But hey, maybe this week will be the week you turn it around.
I am thankful for Greg Jennings scoring 2 td's on turkey day and having the rest of team follow suit and demolish your "revival" back into fantasy football.
Post a Comment