Time To Cut Bait

Let's assume for just one minute that Brian Cashman decides to rescind the contract offer to Roger Clemens in light of the recent setback due to Clembo's groin injury. Forget about the issues of contract validity (see Billy Donovan for a cloudier case), forget about the swallowed pride, forget about embarrassing the Rocket and forget about making millions of Yankee fans very, very upset. Let's take a look at possible ways the Yankees might tell their beloved fan base of this occurrence, should it come to pass.

1. Make an announcement over the P.A. system at Yankee Stadium and post the following message on the center field jumbotron:

"Hey Yankee Fans: Roger Clemens is NO LONGER a Yankee! Again! Also, we're giving up on the season in June!!!!"

1A. Bring Roger himself into the stadium again and put him up in George's box. Give him the mic during the seventh inning stretch of a game and the following script:

Hey fans, it's me again, Roger Clemens. I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell y'all that I lied when I told y'all I'd see you soon. As it turns out, I'm really fuckin' old and perhaps more importantly, this team has no shot in hell of making the playoffs. Thank you.

2. When eventually being forced to put Kei Igawa back in the starting rotation, have him record a message in Japanese before his first start. Before the first pitch of that start, throw the message up on the jumbotron with subtitles. Igawa will report that Roger Clemens won't be joining the club anymore because he has a bad groin but not to worry, because he will be their new #1 starter. Igawa will then reveal that he is actually a woman.

3. Prior to the next home start, fly a mini rocket into the outfield of Yankee Stadium. Botch the landing so that the rocket is actually destroyed beyond recognition, and then bury Clemens' contract in the hole left by the rocket. Fill in the hole and place a grave stone on top of it that reads '2007 season'. Be sure this is all televised and visible on the jumbotron.

It would make sense for the Yankees to pull the plug on the Clemens thing. They're twice as far off of the lead in AL East than they were when they signed him, the guy is not healthy and frankly, the rest of the pitching staff isn't either. How much of a jumpstart can a 45 year-old give a pitching staff, much less an entire team? I just don't know how they can justify that kind of money on Roger, given the whole picture. The Red Sox have even lost 4 out of their last 5 and still the Yankees remain 12.5 games back. Hell, they're 2 games behind the second place Jays at this point. Mussina isn't the same pitcher this year, Pettitte might be hurt, Igawa is in AAA, Wang is shaky at best, Clippard and DeSalvo are rookies and Rivera has only had 7 save opportunities all season. The bullpen is a joke, nothing more. Abreu is involved in trade talks, A-Rod is involved in every controversial issue in baseball right now (and slumping), Giambi is hurt (and shitty), Matsui has dropped off, Damon's production is down and he can't throw (I know, old news) and Cano is in the typical sophomore slump year. What's left is a red-hot Posada and of course, Jeter, who may never have a bad year. Just not a good scene in the Bronx.

Believe me, I am of the persuasion that a baseball season in Boston isn't as much fun if there's not a tight Sox/Yanks race to worry about on a daily basis. And you never know, there could be a lot of scenarios that could play out over the remaining 2/3 of the season. All I'm saying is that it's not looking good for the Yankees and paying an aging star (who might give you six innings per start) 24 million dollars or so just isn't justifiable. It's a total waste of money and a very desperate move by a crazy old man.