There's this one commercial on tv that I've seen a few times lately...it kind of bothers me because the tagline is "It's the most advanced piece of technology you'll ever pee on." I don't remember the product name, but it's obviously a pregnancy test. Is it just me, or does anyone else find this a little unsettling? I mean, for one thing it's a pregnancy test. I don't think most women like to associate something as delicate as a pregnancy test with a rather sardonically intonated commercial such as this. Shouldn't there be a softer, gentler tone for a pregnancy test commercial? If not, then I have some ideas that might share the same philosophy of this piece of advanced technology that you can pee on.
I think we're all aware that most pregnancy tests offer a simple symbol of the results. Maybe (+) and you're pregnant, (-) you're not. I think 'Clear Blue Easy' comes up blue if you're pregnant and some other color if you're not. And some of them can be confusing, like say, maybe it shows one line if you're pregnant and two lines if you're not. I don't know for sure but it sounds familiar. There are tons of commercials for these things out there.
My first thought after seeing this latest commercial was, why not just create a test that gives a verbal result as opposed to the symbol? For instance, if you're pregnant there would be a programmed response of "baby" and if you're not, "no baby". Then it occured to me that people might not hear the "no" or think they didn't hear the no and get all excited for no reason. No good, right? Then again, nothing is fail proof so who knows. Perhaps it would be more effective if the responses were a crowd cheering if you're pregnant and a crowd booing if you're not. This would be ideal for the sports fan out there. For the game show fan, there would be a series of 'dings' if you're pregnant and a buzzer if you're not. Carnival fans would have a test that sounds a siren if you're pregnant and a 'wah, wah, waaaaaaah' for not pregnant.
Purely sports-themed pregnancy tests would be as follows:
For Red Sox fans, the Sox logo appears if you're pregnant and the Yankee logo appears if you're not. The opposite happens for Yankee fans. Cubs fans see Derrick Lee's face for pregnant, Steve Bartman's face for not. Giants fans (football) see Phil Simms face for pregnant, Eli Manning's face for not. This next one might be confusing...Man United fans see Beckham in a Man U jersey for pregnant, but for not pregnant, they see him in a Galaxy jersey. Could be tough. For bowling enthusiasts, you'd hear a ball hitting pins if you're pregnant and a gutter ball if you're not. Golf fans would hear a ball going in the cup for pregnant, and a ball going in a water hazard for not. Cycling fans would see Lance Armstrong's face for pregnant and Floyd Landis' face for not.
There's really no end to the possibilities for a pregnancy test and how to show the results. What about a simple thumbs-up or thumbs-down? Maybe a smiley face or a frown? I think there should be a line tailored towards men, where for a negative result you hear something like "somebody's firin' blanks", or "can you say Erectile Disfunction??"
5 comments:
These are all beautiful examples. Good work. However, you are making the rather large assumption that the couple taking the pregnancy test would be happy if they were pregnant. In a lot of cases, hearing a large round of applause for getting knocked up would be construed as rubbing it in.
That was my first thought, too. What if the girl was a young 20 year old and is sobbing because she got knocked up after a drunken one night stand. That last thing she would want to hear is cheering. That's just cruel.
Besides all of these options would require some sort of microchip in the device to work. Microchips tend to short out when they encounter liquid.
You know, like a hard, steady stream of female urine.
Now, to answer the first two comments, above, I say sell two versions of the kit - one for those hoping they're NOT pregnant, and one for those who are hoping they ARE. That way, each could be tailored to suit the mood of the person taking the test. From there, I love the different ideas mon fils came up with, especially the Sox/Yankees fan versions. Pure genius!! As for the versions "for men", I don't particularly like those ideas.
This is why we have a comment section, lads. I thought of that side, but it wasn't really a part of my scheme so I didn't mention it. But I thank you all for having a sensitive, compassionate side.
Pop, sorry about the "for men" examples. I couldn't help myself.
I like that duel sales idea. One could be called 'Hoping' the other 'Please NO!' or something along those lines.
How about a 'Congratulations' and 'Condolences'? The congrats package comes with a 'What To Expect When Expecting' pamphlet while condolences comes with a listing of Planned Parenthood Clinics in every major city.
Sometimes my genius scares even me.
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