When You're Strange

Or maybe that title should read "When I'm Strange". I'm not sure about that one yet, but I'll keep you informed. Ok, I'm pretty sure I'm strange. The whole "It's All French To Me" is just a different way to purport that I'm kind of a weirdo, deep down. Stay tuned to see if I decide to change the title of the blog to simply "I'm Weird". Then again, I feel as though "weird" is all relative. It's not like I'm out there molesting family pets or something. I do, however, like to think that I have unconventional thoughts that occur in my brain on a daily basis. My blog is my vehicle for these thoughts.

I get in these moods sometimes...such moods that make it so that I will make an effort to strike up a conversation with anyone who I encounter over the course of a day. Not people in the street that I pass necessarily, or people in the elevator. I mean, it could be these people, for sure. But it varies. I just find it incredibly amusing to test people that you don't know and that don't know you.

Lunch lines are a good place to make off-the-cuff remarks to those around you. Depending on what others order and maybe what you order, this can be a good way to spur on a random remark. "Yeah, that looks healthy." You can say this to pretty much anyone who orders something revoltingly unhealthy, wherever you're eating. (you can say this to anyone at Boloco) I've only done this once, and it was more of an oral vomit situation in this case. I didn't mean to say it, really. But I did and thankfully, the guy wasn't pissed off. He replied, "Well, it's Friday and I'm hungover. So it's fine." Well played, well played. I think most would concur that hangovers breed unhealthy, greasy food cravings. Another good one in a food line is as follows: when the person in front of you orders something really whacky with all sorts of modifications like "hold this" and "add this" and "no tomatoes" and "extra sprouts", say to him or her "Oh my god, I was going to order the same, exact thing!" Without fail, he or she will say "really?" Then you say, "no, not really" and proceed to order whatever you were going to get. You get weird looks, but whoever hears it will laugh.

I also like to talk to people who are walking around outside during incredibly inclement weather. This morning, for instance, it was 15° in the city as I walked to my office. The reported wind chill was right at 0°, so it was frigid. For some reason, people seem to be a lot less guarded, maybe because that sort of thing (weather) bonds people together. Like, everyone has the mentality that we're all in this thing together, and we can all sympathize with each other. I was beaten to the punch this morning, as I approached a meter maid. I had literally removed my hood just before I passed this woman on the street and she says to me "Where's your hat?" Keep in mind, she says this as we pass each other. So I reply, "I have a hood." But as I mentioned, I had just taken it off. So she remarks "Put it on!" What could I do or say? I put on the fucking hood.

two-day hiatus...

I'm back from the aforementioned hiatus now. I couldn't finish up this entry over the last two days and now, here I sit, trying to finish it up by the end of business today. I keep getting distracted by various things. The latest came in the form of a piece of organic swiss milk chocolate that was waved in front of me. But what do you care? I'll tell you what, the chocolate sucked. I had a tiny nibble, just because I wanted to delight myself in some organic chocolate and I was let down. But I will rest easy because the chocolate I ate was produced in an environmentally friendly way. (it still sucked)

I want to now talk about another kind of encounter that I create in the elevators at work sometimes. I was recently in one of said elevators with a colleague of mine and one other person; an older woman who ultimately got off on a floor before ours. We were talking about a few different things at once...the Santana deal, the frigid temperatures...she was clearly listening and looking at both of us as we chatted. I was aggrevated by this, and upon her exit, I said "Hope you enjoyed our conversation. Have a good one." She turned slightly, but the door shut and that was that. I haven't seen her since that day, either. Perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut, but understand that I didn't use a negative tone when I spoke to her. It was light-hearted, and for all she knows I was being somewhat serious because of the fact that she had to be subjected to our conversation. As in, maybe she didn't have a choice but to listen. We're loud, she's got ears. I really wasn't trying to be a jerk, honest injun.

The whole uncertainty of a situation when you make some sort of comment to a stranger is what makes these things fun, isn't it? More often than not, I find that people are generally nice and open to partaking in a totally surprise, unsolicited conversation. Unless, of course, you're a total dbag and you totally make someone feel like an asshole. One thing I'd really like to do is go into Boloco during peak lunch hours, holding up a sign with the caloric value of their most popular burritos. I walked past there today and the line was out the door. Hey , it's -4° in the sun. Do you really need Boloco that bad? By the way, what you're about to eat has about 1150 calories. What's that? No, I have no idea what you're about to order but all of that shit is BAAAAD. I feel like Kramer in the Kenny Rogers Roasters episode of Seinfeld. Don't eat the burritos...baaad burritos. Mess you up. I've got to say again that I'm really not against that place because they're just another fast food joint, trying to make a buck off of something that tastes pretty good. It's just that, I feel like they advertise as though their product is somehow good for you, and it's just not. It's garbage.

In closing, I need to extend a huge THANK YOU to Jackie, whom I welcomed to this blog no more than a week or so ago. You'll recall that I posted a plug for the Toy Drive that I'm doing with Youk's Kids. I received a delivery from Jackie yesterday, with some toys to donate to these kids and a card saying that she and her fiance wanted to help in some way. And that's awesome. Thanks Jackie and Jason. You guys rule. Hell to the Yeah.