The Week That Was

As a Friday treat, I thought I'd break down my week by highs and lows and see just how good or bad it really was. After all, this was my first fuil week back at work following the glorious trip to Puerto Rico. It was bound for eventfulness, 'twas it not? Methinks.

Let's begin with the end.

1. We all went out to lunch today...the sales team here. David sat to my right, and he ordered the Captain's Platter. He's about 5' tall, and the platter is just massive. I remarked that he should have ordered the First Mate's Platter (good, solid round of laughs) then asked if he had read the sign at the door saying "You Must Be This Tall To Order The Captain's Platter". He didn't see the sign, nor did anyone else. Also, he didn't see the humor, nor did anyone else. I did get points, however, when the Vick scandal came on the tube in the lounge and I remarked, "Man, Vick sure got himself into a dogfight with the NFL." I won that battle, but ultimately lost the fight...see #2.

2. I somehow became entrenched in a text war with Hammen; the basis was coming up with dog cliches concerning the Vick fiasco. See above for an example. Anyway, the feud lasted a whole day and then some, but I eventually repeated one when I wrote for the second time a text containing the cliche "tail between his legs". I was beaten.

3. I got the offer for the new job this afternoon. Thankfully, I will be ridding myself of the monotony that I have known for the past 8 months in short time. That's a huge victory.

4. I achieved 3 of 4 running goals for the week: I ran 5 miles for the first time, I ran 4 of 6 days (4 of 5 actually), I burned over 2000 calories in those 4 days and I did a 5k in under 29 minutes. Nothing miraculous here, but all milestones for this guy.

5. I've started eating something in my diet that gives me tremendous gas. I mean, bone-throttling gas...I just don't know what it is that's doing it to me. I've been eating a lot of new shit this week, so I've got to try and isolate the culprit this weekend. But my stomach has been in shambles for a few days now.

6. I got caught up with Ponch this morning, and it turns out that he is headed up to Vermont for that wedding he wrote about not too long ago. His expectations are high, which is probably going to bite him. Undoubtedly, he'll end up getting too stoned after the ceremony and asking some bridesmaid to join him in his hotel room for a cheeseburger sub and NHL '97 on SEGA, thus killing his chances of anything good happening. Unless, of course, she's into that. Then he might just get married up there, too. Best of luck, you sack.

7. And finally, the Red Sox. I'm not going to say much here because there's just nothing original to say. My Dad has already given his annual "there's always next year" speech, so the inevitable summer slide must be upon us. But let's look at it this way: it's earlier than usual, so maybe they're having their growing pains early. Much like the first girl in high school to have breasts, it'll be a little uncomfortable at first for them but eventually they'll be basking in the affections of everyone again soon. This funk will pass, it has to. They're too good and they're pitching will eventually save them. I still think we'll win the AL East by 10 games or more.

That's all for today. Hope you all have an insanely good weekend. Salut.