26 November 2008

an ode to thanksgiving

you'll have to forgive my lack of capitalization in this entry. you see, spilled water into my keyboard yesterday and suddenly the i have no use of my caps lock, left shift or left control key. i do realize that i could use the right shift key, but my hands are not trained just yet. so let's pause here and give thanks for the dual shift keys, for without them we'd have zero shift keys. yep. hang on, just let me check something here...ok, yeah. i remembered to take my medication today. phew.

thanksgiving...a truly american holiday, if ever there was one. sure, you'll argue that independence day is the one truly american holiday, simply based on the spirit and enthusiasm of the day coupled with the meaning. but we're talking 1776. i'm talking about 1620, or thereabouts. plymouth rock, the mayflower, pilgrims, native americans, corn...perhaps turkey, ok. that shit is american. it's north american. it's...well, it's basically a cartoon, in my opinion. i don't know about you, but i have this image of a cartoon turkey running in circles around a bunch of pilgrims in golden belt buckles and those top hat things; they're all trying to corral our friend tom, but even the turkey himself is kind of smiling. the cartoon eventually leads to a slaughtering, defeathering and beheading and finally, a roasting in some pilgrimesque oven or some shit. everyone eats, pilgrims and indians alike clink versions of cups, they reminisce about how a close indian relative was scalped by thomas j pilgrim but everyone stops laughing when chief gone-too-far makes a comment about said scalped indian relative's sexual carnival with thomas j's virgin wife-to-be. it's your standard t-day table talk.

this will be my first californian thanksgiving. i will be amongst another version of family and the person who i love the most and i hope to enjoy some white meat and several starchy options. i will miss my immediates and the table they sit at, which is all i really know to this point. it's got me thinking...something i've been doing a lot of, but not of subject matter that happens to be blog appropriate. well, i reckon it's time to pen down. i give thanks everyday, but today i will do it cyber-publicly.

i give thanks to the hardly variable pacific coast weather. granted the last few days have brought something called rain and sub 70-degree weather, but it sure as shit beats the ball-shriveling cold of the northeast. i don't miss red ears and runny noses, nor do i miss getting to work with hathead. that's a bit funny, though. i now 'show up' to work with bedhead, wearing nothing but mesh shorts and some eye crusties, but i'm warm. i win.

i give thanks to my new family out here who have treated me with love and kindness from the start. in this same light, i give thanks to my closest friend these days who happens to be a mutt named roxie. she's my only company on most days and while she can't speak or really fend for herself, she's one of the great eaters of our time and i respect that. i also can't discount the consistency of her wagging tail, which greets me every morning with a metronome-like pounding on the floor.

i give thanks to the simple foods that are newly established staples in my diet. v8, hummus and cottage cheese. for the most part, this is my lunch daily. i may only weigh a scant 157 pounds these days but these tasty morsels are packed with the necessaries of any sustainable diet and for that, i am thankful. although, v8 has way too much fucking sodium. this most likely accounts for my constant dry mouth.

i give thanks to the fashion of los angeles because without it, i may not have much left to laugh about. last night i was having a tall budweiser with my new buddy colin and he was preparing to go out for a night on the town. he asked if i would be interested in coming and i remarked that my flip-flops would probably hinder my ability to get in anywhere. he then sauntered out of his room wearing a pinkish-orange knit scarf and peacoat, noting that showing up with that exact garb would undoubtedly attract various women to his side. i held in my uproarious laughter in favor of keeping my beer in my mouth, but it made me very thankful for my own fashion sense. more power to these people out here, man. i left my scarves in boston for a good reason.

i probably have much more to give thanks for but my back hurts from this back-less chair i'm sitting on. so i wish you all a very happy thanksgiving and may you all have tons to be thankful for.

04 November 2008

When Do We Let Go?

Don't worry. I'm not going to post about letting go of anything significant. At least, not to me anyway. I want to know when it's okay to let go of old t-shirts that once had some kind of meaning. There's got to be some parameters set here, because I have so many fucking t-shirts that it's ridiculous. True, I request t-shirts from occasional travelers like my folks and friends. Well, I have...maybe not so much lately (except for this summer when I asked for a t-shirt from Mt Rushmore since my folks were visiting...I had to settle for a postcard which really isn't the same but hey, you can't hang a t on the fridge) but as a result of this and a former addiction to t-shirts, I have managed to stockpile enough t-shirts to outfit a small village in the Congo.

I figure there's gotta be some categorical listing for the types of t-shirts that I have, so I will break them down into various groups as follows.

1, Jerseys

I used to have a ton of jerseys, and by jerseys I mean replicas of pro athletes either past of present. Over the years, I've had Jalen Rose's Michigan jersey, his Nuggets jersey and his Pacers jersey; Steve Francis' Rockets jersey; Todd Collins Michigan jersey; a Brady Pats jersey which has mysteriously vanished sometime recently; Charles Woodson's Michigan jersey...that might be it. I have zero now. I know where two of them are because I gave them away to Ponch and his brother Scwartz for sentimental reasons. So I know they're in good hands. However, it is not my nature to throw jerseys away. I just remembered that I was coaxed into giving my Jalen Nugs jersey to another college roommate who was in love with weed. He figured wearing a shirt that read "Nuggets" would further his display of affection for marijuana. Anyway, I digress. This category need not be mentioned since I have none of these to sift through. Moot point. For the record though, the Woodson jersey is the best one in this group.

2. Number tees

Any t-shirt that represents a team from my past has been kept. I cannot part with these, at least not in terms of throwing them out. For some reason I feel it necessary to wear a t-shirt from a team that went 0-8 in college flag football. I just can't get rid of them unless they are passed on. Between Nate, Josh, Ponch and myself, I have to think we've cycled through upwards of 50 of these things over the course of 15 years. They're keepsakes, aren't they? Yeah, keepsakes. That's the one.

3. Old Championship tees

Examples in my drawer right now: 2004 ALCS Champions T-shirt and a C's 2008 NBA Champions T-shirt. I've honestly done work to whittle down this collection over time, and now I'm a little upset that I did. Occasionally I'll see someone with an '85 AFC Champions tee or a really old school C's NBA Champs tee. They're vintage and they're awesome. I'm not sure why I hold onto the '04 ALCS tee and in fact, I think that's gonna go in my next batch of donated clothes. I guess these need to be determined on a case-by-case basis.

4. Random team tees

I feel as though these always have a place in my drawer because for the most part, I bought these kinds of tees on location. For instance, from our voyage cross the motherland I picked up a KU tee, a San Francisco Giants tee and a Vail, CO tee. I know, the Vail tee has no sports meaning but still. I like to wear it because my resident headmaster Neal will call me an elitist yuppie when he sees it. I have to laugh, since we stayed there off season and on a Hotwire.com rate at the Lodge. Economy lodging, bro. If I'm an elitist, then I just voted for McCain. I also have a few USC tees courtesy of the headmaster and his son's status as a matriculator there, and a few NYU tees for the same reason. I don't think I'll find cause to part with these; at least, I hope not. Obligatory plug for Lauren here: hi baby.

5. Gym tees

Generally my gym tees are those of the ripped sleeve variety. I'd like to say that I do this because it's easier to move my arms without the sleeves, but that's a bunch of boloney. Or bologna. How the fuck do we get bah-low-nee from that? Anyway, I like to see my muscles at work at the gym, even though I'm a super far cry from being "big". It makes me feel like I'm making progress. So I have about four or five of these and they're on rotation. They'll hopefully always have a spot in my drawer.

6. Plain tees

Due to the poorboy price points of H&M, I've added 6 colored tees in recent times. I can't seem to pass up a $5 tee, and they're very comfortable. I also have about 12 others from various shops and they have no expiration date. I've also found that a plain tee and a pair of jeans is kind of the unwritten law of the male wardrobe out here in LA. It's acceptable to "dress up" out here in the aforementioned attire, which is pretty great. So as far as I can tell, this ever-growing staple in my wardrobe may never cease.

All of this having been said, I had a problem justifying the conglomeration of tees today. I parted with a dozen or so tees that probably fit into one or two of these categories, but I hadn't worn them since I've been here and more than likely, I haven't worn them in years. That's grounds for dismissal.

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On the odds-n-ends front, I noticed last night while watching the Office that 'Scranton' backwards spells 'not narcs'. Kinda weird.