08 January 2010

Leases on Life

I've decided it's time to revert back to that tangential-esque thinking that got me started on this blog in the first place. You know...short, punchy quips with absolutely no point whatsoever.

I got up at 4:30 this morning (due in part to a slight hangover) and decided that sleeping was a futile effort. So I showered and walked to Starbucks around the corner. Pretty typical stuff for me, in terms of morning activities but even more so now that I got a $25 gift card from my brother Mike for Christmas. Thanks, buddy. No, seriously. Good gift. Anyway, as I stood waiting for my coffee and breakfast sandwich, it occurred to me just how much I hate the phrase "new lease on life".

Generally, this phrase is relegated to those who suddenly change something drastically in his or her life. Maybe they have this great new job, or this great new significant other, or this great new drug habit...who knows, could be one of many things. And when this shift occurs, you might hear someone's mom utter the phrase "hmm, sounds like he/she's got a new lease on life".

"Yeah, for sure he does. He got a sweet deal on an 18-month term but I'm concerned that once this lease is up, he'll revert right back to his old ways of panhandling on the streets of LA and eating meals consisting solely of crack and throw-away bear claws from Yum Yum."

A new lease on life...why is it a lease? A lease is finite. It has a definite beginning and more importantly, a definite end. It suggests just what I've alluded to in the interjection above...that at some point, the lease will be up and renewal will not be possible. Why don't we say a new "mortgage" on life? That way, there's at least the possibility of paying it off and eventually owning that life. If we choose to make another change, we can simply "refinance" this "mortgage" on our life and do something different. Because it's not a lease, you see. It's a mortgage, and it's an equitable proposition. It's an investment in one's future, is it not? And theretofore, shouldn't pretty much everything we choose to do or not to do be classified as an investment into our futures? My morning coffee is an investment into my very near future, ensuring I'll have that quick burst of fake energy that it takes to walk my lazy ass back to my apartment, no more than 200 yards away. This is where I choose not to give seventy-one more examples of inane activities that are preposterously alleged to be "investments" into my future.

Ahh...feels good to write a bunch of nonsense again.

04 January 2010

Resolutions

Why do we make New Year's Resolutions? What, so we can look back a year from now and realize that we most likely failed miserably in attaining any of those lofty goals we set for ourselves in a drunken haze on NYE? I love those people who vow to be a better person this year. I'm sorry, what? Yeah, generally people who make that resolution have NO SHOT of succeeding in holding it up. Once a bad person...

I did make a couple resolutions and quite frankly, I set the bar pretty low for myself in 2010. Hey, it gives me a better shot of looking back next year and gleaning some modicum of pride from the accomplishments. I want to work harder; I want to get back into a routine of working out, rather than the 1-2 times-per-week routine that I've been mired in for over a year now. I'm not totally out of shape, but if I'm not careful my body will end up resembling that of Stu from the Hangover...it's in my genes and Dad, you can attest to this. I want to write more. This one won't be too difficult, since I've pretty much ceased all writing (for the public eye) for the last several months. And this entry is a good start. I am also resolving myself to making less bets with my lady friend, Ms. Renee. I'm like 0-for-16 since mid-2009 and there's one bet pending that could prove DISASTROUS if I lose. I will not divulge the stakes, but I drunkenly bet her that the C's would beat the Lakers in the 2010 NBA Finals. Yes, I realize all the contingencies involved here, but when both teams are healthy they're clearly the two best in the NBA. I'll say this: if I lose this bet, you may be seeing a new blog entitles "Homeless and French in LA".

Highlight of my holiday season: mushroom hunting on the central coast of California with Renee's father, Alex. We got up at 5:30 and drove to Cambria to hunt porcini mushrooms. At 2pm we had gathered about 25 pounds of various types, most intriguingly being the amanita muscaria; or more commonly known as a psychadelic shroom. But we managed to pick about 6 pounds of porcinis and they were fantastic. We promptly dried most of them for soups, but the small batch we immediately sauteed in garlic, butter and olive oil and consumed. Amazing. I'm telling you, if you're in search of a low-maintenance, low-cost hobby, go buy a book on mushroom hunting and get out there in the spring (if you're in MASS). It's relaxing, fun and you can most certainly eat some of what you find. I'll try and remember to post some photos later on of the haul from last week.

That's about it for now, but I hope to remain in contact with the one or two loyal souls who still check back to see if I'm writing again. If anyone cares to view another blog that I've recently started (written as my current roommate), give me your email address and I'll add you on. I will not be making it public, though.

Here's to a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year to all in the blogger world.

Saude.