Effective November 29th, 2007 at 3:57pm EST, the Empire that has been known as the New York Yankees is officially dissolved.
Well, maybe this is old news and the Empire has been a crumbled mess for some time, but it became clear to me this afternoon via an email from my father. His note told of a colleague of his who happens to be a Yankee fan; I'll call him Steve Regan to protect his identity (his name is actually Steven Regan). Said colleague Regan has expressed utter astonishment as the news of the Red Sox being the frontrunners in the Johan Santana sweepstakes fell upon his pinstriped ears. He had previously just assumed that the Yanks would land him, no question. I admire his pompousness, but it's time to face fact, Steve-O. These current Yankees are not the Yankees of yesteryear. Unfortunately, it's looking more and more like today's Red Sox are owning up to the distinction of something along the lines of Evil Empire...just less evil with better pitching.
Consider a rotation of Johan Santana, Josh Beckett, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Curt Schilling and Wakefield/Buccholz. I would dare to offer that this would be the best starting rotation ever to hit a program in any stadium at any time in the history of baseball. The 1971 Orioles boasted four twenty-game winners, so I would imagine this staff would be the benchmark. True, this proposed Sox staff for 2008 does not include an underwear model (not yet, at least. Wakefield is rumored to be working out a deal with Hanes for a new line of protective skivees called Knuckleballs) but it would feature a multiple Cy Young winner, 5 World Series rings, 1 World Series MVP, 1 LCS MVP and two pitchers who are considered to be in the top 5 of greatest postseason hurlers of all time. Dear me. As the great Jim Hammen said in a recent text, the NL All-Stars wouldn't beat the Sox with Santana in seven games. Well said.
I know it's all speculation still, but it's exciting. Santana's #57 is available, in case anyone was wondering. Delcarmen switched to #17 this season.
29 November 2007
21 November 2007
Ode To Thanksgiving
I'd be a real turkey if I didn't write something in honor of the holiday tomorrow, wherein we'll give thanks for stuff and probably eat way too much and ultimately end up feeling like shit for a day or two. But I don't want this post to have a foul tone, so I need to brighten it up a little. I had a few things planned out for this one, but it's looking more and more like I'm going to have to wing it.
T - is for thanks. Give thanks tomorrow. Maybe you're thankful for a World Series Champ, an undefeated football team and the best team in the NBA. Or maybe you live in South Dakota, and you're thankful for...for...I don't know, the Badlands?
H - is for hope. Without hope, what do we have? Well actually, without hope and money what do we have? Without hope, money and sex. Those three things. Without those, what do we have?
A - is for appetite. Bring yours to the table tomorrow and join the average American in consuming 3000+ calories in one sitting. Better dig up those elastic waistband chinos.
N - is for nice. Be nice to those who prepared the food that you'll consume tomorrow. Don't complain about not getting a wing, or a drumstick, or that there's a small, curly hair in the jello mold. Just eat, thank the cooks and shut up.
K - is for knowledge. Know that there are three football games tomorrow, and one is on the NFL network which you won't be able to watch. Unless of course, you have the NFL network. Also know that the only game worth watching is the Green Bay - Detroit game, if for no other reason than the throwback uniforms.
S - is for a lot of things. I have found that the letter 'S' is well represented among the table items at Thanksgiving. Squash, stuffing, string beans, salad, sweet potatoes, sauce (as in cranberry) and many more, depending on what weird shit you have on your table tomorrow. S is also for stupid, as in don't be. Save room for dessert and elect not to have that third re-stuffed potato. Let your father have it because you're at his house and if anyone needs to have the opportunity to use the bathroom at any given time, it's him.
I hope you all have a wonderfully enjoyable and laughter-filled Thanksgiving tomorrow. Just think...when you return to work on Monday, there will be less than a month left until Christmas.
T - is for thanks. Give thanks tomorrow. Maybe you're thankful for a World Series Champ, an undefeated football team and the best team in the NBA. Or maybe you live in South Dakota, and you're thankful for...for...I don't know, the Badlands?
H - is for hope. Without hope, what do we have? Well actually, without hope and money what do we have? Without hope, money and sex. Those three things. Without those, what do we have?
A - is for appetite. Bring yours to the table tomorrow and join the average American in consuming 3000+ calories in one sitting. Better dig up those elastic waistband chinos.
N - is for nice. Be nice to those who prepared the food that you'll consume tomorrow. Don't complain about not getting a wing, or a drumstick, or that there's a small, curly hair in the jello mold. Just eat, thank the cooks and shut up.
K - is for knowledge. Know that there are three football games tomorrow, and one is on the NFL network which you won't be able to watch. Unless of course, you have the NFL network. Also know that the only game worth watching is the Green Bay - Detroit game, if for no other reason than the throwback uniforms.
S - is for a lot of things. I have found that the letter 'S' is well represented among the table items at Thanksgiving. Squash, stuffing, string beans, salad, sweet potatoes, sauce (as in cranberry) and many more, depending on what weird shit you have on your table tomorrow. S is also for stupid, as in don't be. Save room for dessert and elect not to have that third re-stuffed potato. Let your father have it because you're at his house and if anyone needs to have the opportunity to use the bathroom at any given time, it's him.
I hope you all have a wonderfully enjoyable and laughter-filled Thanksgiving tomorrow. Just think...when you return to work on Monday, there will be less than a month left until Christmas.
19 November 2007
Talk To Me
I just had a revelation in the bathroom: I spend a good portion of my day talking to inanimate objects. I'm trying to figure out why this is and for the most part, I see it as a reactionary thing. If I find that some object that I'm using is working ineffectively, I then decide that it might very well have the faculties to be making the decision not to work, simply to make my life more difficult.
Lately, the toilet paper dispenser in the men's room at work has given me fits. It's one of those contraptions where you have to push the new roll upward for it to come down the slides and become loose on the tracks. I sit there probably 50% of the time, fiddling with this devil machine, begging it to just let me have access to some toilet paper. What drives me insane is when it's just too tight to release the roll, thus I sit there and tear off piece after piece of paper, until I have a stack of 50-60 2-ply sheets in my hand. Don't even get me started on why this method just doesn't work, but the fact that I have to sit there and pull off each incessant piece makes me angry. Then I start to talk. "Why can't you just let me have some fucking paper? You little bitch. All I want is for you to cooperate. Why can't you? Why?" It gets worse. I'll ask the metal dispenser what its problem is, what I've ever done to it, why it must be this way. And when I've finally finished up, I thank the damn thing as I walk by, in a totally sardonic tone. I wonder if it gets my tone, though. Probably not.
My cell phone is another one that I like to talk to. I'll tell it things like, it's only job is to give me reception so I can make calls and send messages to people. "You only have ONE FUCKING PURPOSE", I'll tell it. Doesn't help. I'll express my distaste by promising that I'll never buy another one of its kind, as if I'm somehow hurting its feelings. Chances are, I'm not. Our most frequent conversation happens when the phone beeps and shows 'low battery'. At that point, I might actually hold the phone in front of my face and utter a very tight-lipped "you suck". Does anyone else do the 'fake throw' of the cell phone? You know, wind up like you're about to hurl a football several yards and then just stop the motion?
I don't talk my kitchen utensils all that much when I'm cooking, but on a recent trip to California I was using some particularly sharp knives during food preparation. I cut myself three separate times in one night, all on the same knife. I was cursing this knife for being too sharp, which makes absolutely no sense at all. If that knife had any balls whatsoever, it would have snapped back at me with something like, "how about you stop being such a clumsy fool, you bozo...after all, I AM A KNIFE. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SHARP." Alas, it said nothing and just continued to take off layer after layer of skin. What's funny about this one is that I promised the knife after each incision that it would be my last use of it...but I kept going back to it...allowing it to cut me up. Without question, the knife won this battle. If I'm ever back in that same kitchen with that same knife, I'll probably talk to it before usage. "Look, you and me...we've had our differences. But I don't want any trouble this time. I want your help cutting an onion and some cheese. That's it. We cool?" Maybe a different approach will wield more positive outcomes.
I can be positive with some of the objects that I use everyday. There are a few ties that I wear that, for some reason or another, always give me the perfect knot. I'll ask those ties on occasion why they're so good to me. I have this one pen that I use that never runs out of ink, for any reason. I don't even have to say anything to that pen, because it knows how I feel about it. Sometimes you can say a lot by not saying anything at all, that's how it is between me and that pen.
Maybe talking to inanimate objects can be viewed as unhealthy, or just weird. But the imaginary therapist that I've been seeing doesn't think it's weird at all. She said it's totally normal and it shows that I have a very active imagination. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go have a talk with my zipper about why it keeps getting stuck in the fabric of my pants.
Lately, the toilet paper dispenser in the men's room at work has given me fits. It's one of those contraptions where you have to push the new roll upward for it to come down the slides and become loose on the tracks. I sit there probably 50% of the time, fiddling with this devil machine, begging it to just let me have access to some toilet paper. What drives me insane is when it's just too tight to release the roll, thus I sit there and tear off piece after piece of paper, until I have a stack of 50-60 2-ply sheets in my hand. Don't even get me started on why this method just doesn't work, but the fact that I have to sit there and pull off each incessant piece makes me angry. Then I start to talk. "Why can't you just let me have some fucking paper? You little bitch. All I want is for you to cooperate. Why can't you? Why?" It gets worse. I'll ask the metal dispenser what its problem is, what I've ever done to it, why it must be this way. And when I've finally finished up, I thank the damn thing as I walk by, in a totally sardonic tone. I wonder if it gets my tone, though. Probably not.
My cell phone is another one that I like to talk to. I'll tell it things like, it's only job is to give me reception so I can make calls and send messages to people. "You only have ONE FUCKING PURPOSE", I'll tell it. Doesn't help. I'll express my distaste by promising that I'll never buy another one of its kind, as if I'm somehow hurting its feelings. Chances are, I'm not. Our most frequent conversation happens when the phone beeps and shows 'low battery'. At that point, I might actually hold the phone in front of my face and utter a very tight-lipped "you suck". Does anyone else do the 'fake throw' of the cell phone? You know, wind up like you're about to hurl a football several yards and then just stop the motion?
I don't talk my kitchen utensils all that much when I'm cooking, but on a recent trip to California I was using some particularly sharp knives during food preparation. I cut myself three separate times in one night, all on the same knife. I was cursing this knife for being too sharp, which makes absolutely no sense at all. If that knife had any balls whatsoever, it would have snapped back at me with something like, "how about you stop being such a clumsy fool, you bozo...after all, I AM A KNIFE. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SHARP." Alas, it said nothing and just continued to take off layer after layer of skin. What's funny about this one is that I promised the knife after each incision that it would be my last use of it...but I kept going back to it...allowing it to cut me up. Without question, the knife won this battle. If I'm ever back in that same kitchen with that same knife, I'll probably talk to it before usage. "Look, you and me...we've had our differences. But I don't want any trouble this time. I want your help cutting an onion and some cheese. That's it. We cool?" Maybe a different approach will wield more positive outcomes.
I can be positive with some of the objects that I use everyday. There are a few ties that I wear that, for some reason or another, always give me the perfect knot. I'll ask those ties on occasion why they're so good to me. I have this one pen that I use that never runs out of ink, for any reason. I don't even have to say anything to that pen, because it knows how I feel about it. Sometimes you can say a lot by not saying anything at all, that's how it is between me and that pen.
Maybe talking to inanimate objects can be viewed as unhealthy, or just weird. But the imaginary therapist that I've been seeing doesn't think it's weird at all. She said it's totally normal and it shows that I have a very active imagination. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go have a talk with my zipper about why it keeps getting stuck in the fabric of my pants.
13 November 2007
Premature Parting Shots*
Sure, writing two posts in one day after a fortnight of a hiatus seems a bit irrational, but you know what they say...come strong or don't come at all. I'm comin' strong, buddy. You best get out the way if you don't feel like being a part of it.
Ok, now that the unintentionally intentional non-sensical entry paragraph is out of the way, here's the meat and potatoes of the post. Sorry, here's the skin of the potato: Eventually I will be ridding myself of the New Englandness in me, be it soon or in a few years. Subconsciously I've been trying to train myself to like the local sports scene a little bit less than I have over the course of the last 28 or so years. It's been touch and go a few times, I can't lie. But I figure, when I move away from I need to be prepared for the inevitable separation of man and his team(s). Going to games won't be possible unless it's a road game and I'm probably not going to purchase all of the major sports packages for the television. I will need Sox games, I know that much.
I watched far fewer Sox games this season, but I think went to the most games I've been to in a while. This always helps if you're going to start weening off of catching every game in some way, shape or form. I guess I probably should have pointed out that this whole separation is also due to the fact that I am virtually unbearable to watch a game with if my team is involved. Well, I used to be. I've learned how to curb my enthusiasm a little bit, if you will. Sure, it's still there somewhere deep down, but I can hold it in for the most part (In game 6 of the ALCS this year, I erupted in one maniacal, pathetically emotional yelp when JD Drew hit that grand slam. I had been harboring some excitement I guess, and it literally just leaped out. Lauren looked at me in such a way that only someone who loves you/hates how seriously you take this shit can...). I have taught myself to care a little less and take it all a little less seriously and personally when they lose. That's the problem with me and a lot of sports fans around here. We take this shit really personally and that's not a healthy way to root. It took me a long time to realize that Wakefield's floater to Aaron Boone in 2003 wasn't an attack on me at all. When Lugo couldn't hit the ocean with rock, standing on the Tobin, it wasn't because he really wanted to make me miserable. He was just slumping. So I'm over that shit, once and for all. No more taking it personally. Sure, winning the '07 Series helps but it's more than that. I've taught myself.
Still, I will never let go of my love for the Sox. No matter where my life takes me they have some of my heart and soul because they just do. But I'll be ok with being away from it, since I've found some other things in life that matter more and can hold my attention more effectively. And that's saying a whole hell of a lot. The Patriots, on the other hand...
The SpyGate thing? Yeah, they made more of it than they should have and they still dwell on it when yammering on about the asterisk on the hypothesis of a perfect season. Maybe they should. Without going into whether or not every team in the NFL does the same thing or not, I was extremely disappointed when I learned of this whole camera investigation. For the longest time, I had viewed the Patriot franchise as one that was to be revered and modeled after in the world of pro sports. I know this view is/was shared by many others and it's not unique, sure. But from someone like me, who has been a devout fan and follower of this team since longer than I can remember, it was a great, big punch in the stomach. All I could think was, "screw you guys." It was like finding out that my best friend since I was 10 has been sleeping with my girlfriend for the last few months, and who knows who else that I've been with. Sue me for not being over it, because I'm not and I don't know when I will be.
I think what this current team is doing is a great thing because they're on the verge of doing something that has never been done before (if they can go 16-0 and then win out in the playoffs) but it's bittersweet. I would normally be beside myself for the simple fact that it's the Patriots...that it's Brady, the same guy who I see with his hands on his head, shaking that same head in disbelief after winning the big one at such a young age. Perhaps he wasn't shaking his head because he couldn't believe he had done it...maybe he was thinking "jeez, and none of these losers know that we cheated the whole fucking time!" Has he had an unfair advantage with knowing defenses and formations before the other team even knows what they're going to run? I don't know, none of us do. But I'm not over the disappointment. I still watch some of the games, none in their entirety this season but I watch a little. The defining moment of this season came when Brady was picked off to begin the 4th quarter in Indy. That was a huge pick, and it was going to be a big uphill climb to win. It was sure to be a phenomenal ending to the game, and I walked out of a livingroom with a tv that was showing the game. I walked out the door, got into my car and went home...45 minutes later, I flipped the game back on in time to see the time run off the clock...:04, :03, :02, :01...and I changed it. I said to Lauren, "they actually won." And she annoyedly replied, "yeah? that sucks, I wanted them to lose." In a way, so did I.
I had been in Indy last January when the wheels came off the bus and it all came crashing down. It was a very sobering experience. I was so looking forward to this showdown, until the SpyGate shit. I don't care that much anymore. I don't really care if they go undefeated, other than caring that it'll be an enormous historical impact on the sport of pro football. That's an interesting feat...unfortunately, it would forever be associated with that silly asterisk. And that is a shame. I guess it's pretty appropriate though...Bonds breaking Aaron's record, with an asterisk...maybe this in the same year? Makes sense. It's a sign of the times, perhaps.
In conclusion, I've learned how to be more lax in my fandom. And I've learned that I will always take the Sox with me, no matter where I go. Probably the C's, too. But I'm not sure about the Patriots. I feel like I've been burned by them and it's leaving a mark...or an asterisk.
Ok, now that the unintentionally intentional non-sensical entry paragraph is out of the way, here's the meat and potatoes of the post. Sorry, here's the skin of the potato: Eventually I will be ridding myself of the New Englandness in me, be it soon or in a few years. Subconsciously I've been trying to train myself to like the local sports scene a little bit less than I have over the course of the last 28 or so years. It's been touch and go a few times, I can't lie. But I figure, when I move away from I need to be prepared for the inevitable separation of man and his team(s). Going to games won't be possible unless it's a road game and I'm probably not going to purchase all of the major sports packages for the television. I will need Sox games, I know that much.
I watched far fewer Sox games this season, but I think went to the most games I've been to in a while. This always helps if you're going to start weening off of catching every game in some way, shape or form. I guess I probably should have pointed out that this whole separation is also due to the fact that I am virtually unbearable to watch a game with if my team is involved. Well, I used to be. I've learned how to curb my enthusiasm a little bit, if you will. Sure, it's still there somewhere deep down, but I can hold it in for the most part (In game 6 of the ALCS this year, I erupted in one maniacal, pathetically emotional yelp when JD Drew hit that grand slam. I had been harboring some excitement I guess, and it literally just leaped out. Lauren looked at me in such a way that only someone who loves you/hates how seriously you take this shit can...). I have taught myself to care a little less and take it all a little less seriously and personally when they lose. That's the problem with me and a lot of sports fans around here. We take this shit really personally and that's not a healthy way to root. It took me a long time to realize that Wakefield's floater to Aaron Boone in 2003 wasn't an attack on me at all. When Lugo couldn't hit the ocean with rock, standing on the Tobin, it wasn't because he really wanted to make me miserable. He was just slumping. So I'm over that shit, once and for all. No more taking it personally. Sure, winning the '07 Series helps but it's more than that. I've taught myself.
Still, I will never let go of my love for the Sox. No matter where my life takes me they have some of my heart and soul because they just do. But I'll be ok with being away from it, since I've found some other things in life that matter more and can hold my attention more effectively. And that's saying a whole hell of a lot. The Patriots, on the other hand...
The SpyGate thing? Yeah, they made more of it than they should have and they still dwell on it when yammering on about the asterisk on the hypothesis of a perfect season. Maybe they should. Without going into whether or not every team in the NFL does the same thing or not, I was extremely disappointed when I learned of this whole camera investigation. For the longest time, I had viewed the Patriot franchise as one that was to be revered and modeled after in the world of pro sports. I know this view is/was shared by many others and it's not unique, sure. But from someone like me, who has been a devout fan and follower of this team since longer than I can remember, it was a great, big punch in the stomach. All I could think was, "screw you guys." It was like finding out that my best friend since I was 10 has been sleeping with my girlfriend for the last few months, and who knows who else that I've been with. Sue me for not being over it, because I'm not and I don't know when I will be.
I think what this current team is doing is a great thing because they're on the verge of doing something that has never been done before (if they can go 16-0 and then win out in the playoffs) but it's bittersweet. I would normally be beside myself for the simple fact that it's the Patriots...that it's Brady, the same guy who I see with his hands on his head, shaking that same head in disbelief after winning the big one at such a young age. Perhaps he wasn't shaking his head because he couldn't believe he had done it...maybe he was thinking "jeez, and none of these losers know that we cheated the whole fucking time!" Has he had an unfair advantage with knowing defenses and formations before the other team even knows what they're going to run? I don't know, none of us do. But I'm not over the disappointment. I still watch some of the games, none in their entirety this season but I watch a little. The defining moment of this season came when Brady was picked off to begin the 4th quarter in Indy. That was a huge pick, and it was going to be a big uphill climb to win. It was sure to be a phenomenal ending to the game, and I walked out of a livingroom with a tv that was showing the game. I walked out the door, got into my car and went home...45 minutes later, I flipped the game back on in time to see the time run off the clock...:04, :03, :02, :01...and I changed it. I said to Lauren, "they actually won." And she annoyedly replied, "yeah? that sucks, I wanted them to lose." In a way, so did I.
I had been in Indy last January when the wheels came off the bus and it all came crashing down. It was a very sobering experience. I was so looking forward to this showdown, until the SpyGate shit. I don't care that much anymore. I don't really care if they go undefeated, other than caring that it'll be an enormous historical impact on the sport of pro football. That's an interesting feat...unfortunately, it would forever be associated with that silly asterisk. And that is a shame. I guess it's pretty appropriate though...Bonds breaking Aaron's record, with an asterisk...maybe this in the same year? Makes sense. It's a sign of the times, perhaps.
In conclusion, I've learned how to be more lax in my fandom. And I've learned that I will always take the Sox with me, no matter where I go. Probably the C's, too. But I'm not sure about the Patriots. I feel like I've been burned by them and it's leaving a mark...or an asterisk.
08 November 2007
Hey, It's Me.
Wow, it's been a while since I last reported to my very loyal but very few readers. I wish that I had something monumental to deliver to you, such as the discovery of a new land, a cure for some terminal disease, maybe even news of the end of the world. Hey, I didn't say that it would have been hypothetical good news, did I?
Some of the thoughts that I have been nursing and nurturing since I last pegged the keys follow. Forgive my tendency to be non-sequitous.
How many of you go to the gym on a regular basis? If you are in this population, and by no means does being in this population make you cooler, you probably witness some of the same sights and sounds that I do. Gym noises can be a very funny thing, but dangerous at the same time. You definitely don't want to have the urge to laugh when you're trying to hoist up a few plates on the bench. But it can be hard, especially when you have people that sound like they're either in labor or experiencing the best climax of their life as they pump out some squats. Then there's the older folks at the gym. I've been in a treadmill next to one of these types, as he literally gasped his way through a brisk walk on the treadmill. I wouldn't know whether to encourage him for really working through the obvious pain he's in, or start performing CPR right then and there in order to save his expiring life. This next one is certainly more a part of the 'sight' variety. There's this one dude at our gym who Lauren playfully refers to as 'partial rep guy'. You'd understand if you saw, and you kinda have to see him in order get the full scope of his ridiculousness. I can't knock the guy's commitment to getting to the gym because he's there everyday. However his work ethic is lacking something...like, a full rep? Everything is completely half-assed with this guy. From a distance, it might appear as if he's really pushing out a ton of reps at a mad pace. At closer look, you realize that he's probably doing his body more harm than good with his partial reps. Halfway up, then down. Halfway down, then up. And so on. Ridiculous. He's also one of those dudes that likes to ask if he can work in with you, which is annoying as anything.
I know that a fair bit has transpired since I wrote last, but now that I've actually sat down to write about that stuff, I'm drawing a bit of a blank. The Pats are 9-0 and coming off a bye week...Buffalo on Sunday. Yawn. At this point, it'll just be interesting to see what kind of numbers that offense can put up and how many records can be broken. No, I'm not being the typical arrogant NE fan here. It's just the reality of the situation as I see it. I haven't even watched much of their season because it's been pretty boring. Blowouts aren't the most riveting games to watch. There's just no question that a) the Patriots are the NFL's best with a good amount of separation between them and the rest and b) more of the focus in this town needs to be shifted to the C's until around the first of the year.
Speaking of which...have you seen the C's play this year? I've seen bits and pieces and tons of highlights. A few observations on this team: 1. The big three are just that. They've played like superstars in every game so far, they click as a unit and frankly, it's tough to say that the Celtics starting 5 can be beat by any other 5 in the NBA. The second unit is absolutely a work in progress, but the education of Big Baby is happening and soon enough, he'll be the guy on that unit. His energy and talent should help him to develop into a legit leader and scorer in the NBA. Watch this team play if you can. They appear to be having a lot of fun on the court and you have to be happy for a guy like Paul Pierce, who has endured years and years of 'rebuilding' and young talent. He's never really complained, and how he's been rewarded with Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen to play alongside of him...or vice versa. It's a cool thing.
We're on the heels of fall now, and just getting onto the tiptoes of winter. But this week is the quintessential tweener for weather. It's pretty balmy out there, rather rainy and dreary but totally bearable from a comfort standpoint. I can always stand being wet but being cold just plain blows. So we're looking at upper 50's temperatures this week, but then it's to promptly plunge back down towards that mark of freezing by the weekend. So I will enjoy this seemingly tropical air while it's here, and then I look forward to the inevitable four to six months of weather misery to come. And even then, when it's penis hibernation cold, I'll still be thankful that I'm not in North Dakota. To those I actually know who live or have lived there, come on. You know what I'm talking about.
Some of the thoughts that I have been nursing and nurturing since I last pegged the keys follow. Forgive my tendency to be non-sequitous.
How many of you go to the gym on a regular basis? If you are in this population, and by no means does being in this population make you cooler, you probably witness some of the same sights and sounds that I do. Gym noises can be a very funny thing, but dangerous at the same time. You definitely don't want to have the urge to laugh when you're trying to hoist up a few plates on the bench. But it can be hard, especially when you have people that sound like they're either in labor or experiencing the best climax of their life as they pump out some squats. Then there's the older folks at the gym. I've been in a treadmill next to one of these types, as he literally gasped his way through a brisk walk on the treadmill. I wouldn't know whether to encourage him for really working through the obvious pain he's in, or start performing CPR right then and there in order to save his expiring life. This next one is certainly more a part of the 'sight' variety. There's this one dude at our gym who Lauren playfully refers to as 'partial rep guy'. You'd understand if you saw, and you kinda have to see him in order get the full scope of his ridiculousness. I can't knock the guy's commitment to getting to the gym because he's there everyday. However his work ethic is lacking something...like, a full rep? Everything is completely half-assed with this guy. From a distance, it might appear as if he's really pushing out a ton of reps at a mad pace. At closer look, you realize that he's probably doing his body more harm than good with his partial reps. Halfway up, then down. Halfway down, then up. And so on. Ridiculous. He's also one of those dudes that likes to ask if he can work in with you, which is annoying as anything.
I know that a fair bit has transpired since I wrote last, but now that I've actually sat down to write about that stuff, I'm drawing a bit of a blank. The Pats are 9-0 and coming off a bye week...Buffalo on Sunday. Yawn. At this point, it'll just be interesting to see what kind of numbers that offense can put up and how many records can be broken. No, I'm not being the typical arrogant NE fan here. It's just the reality of the situation as I see it. I haven't even watched much of their season because it's been pretty boring. Blowouts aren't the most riveting games to watch. There's just no question that a) the Patriots are the NFL's best with a good amount of separation between them and the rest and b) more of the focus in this town needs to be shifted to the C's until around the first of the year.
Speaking of which...have you seen the C's play this year? I've seen bits and pieces and tons of highlights. A few observations on this team: 1. The big three are just that. They've played like superstars in every game so far, they click as a unit and frankly, it's tough to say that the Celtics starting 5 can be beat by any other 5 in the NBA. The second unit is absolutely a work in progress, but the education of Big Baby is happening and soon enough, he'll be the guy on that unit. His energy and talent should help him to develop into a legit leader and scorer in the NBA. Watch this team play if you can. They appear to be having a lot of fun on the court and you have to be happy for a guy like Paul Pierce, who has endured years and years of 'rebuilding' and young talent. He's never really complained, and how he's been rewarded with Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen to play alongside of him...or vice versa. It's a cool thing.
We're on the heels of fall now, and just getting onto the tiptoes of winter. But this week is the quintessential tweener for weather. It's pretty balmy out there, rather rainy and dreary but totally bearable from a comfort standpoint. I can always stand being wet but being cold just plain blows. So we're looking at upper 50's temperatures this week, but then it's to promptly plunge back down towards that mark of freezing by the weekend. So I will enjoy this seemingly tropical air while it's here, and then I look forward to the inevitable four to six months of weather misery to come. And even then, when it's penis hibernation cold, I'll still be thankful that I'm not in North Dakota. To those I actually know who live or have lived there, come on. You know what I'm talking about.
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